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Rubbish Gays

Gay is the new black, but rubbish is the new brown.

Saturday, November 29, 2003

...And The Money For Old Rope Award Goes To....

I'm spinning around...

We have seen some shite in our time, but this piece of effluent takes the biscuit. 'Electronic spin-the-bottle' almost made us choke during Sabrina The Teenage Witch. Is it possible that the juvenile twistings of an empty bottle of Concorde, can be replaced by this whistles/bells arrangement?? Back in our day spin-the bottle was all about kissing girls, and that, could this needless waste of money possibly offer anything else? Oh yes....

'This isn’t your parents’ Spin the Bottle. Back in their day, they actually had to use a gross empty bottle that didn’t spin very well. Borrrring! ' What's that? Empty bottles are gross? Bottles don't spin you say?

Over 130 commands are programmed into 3 categories: Truth, Dare or Kiss/Forfeit. WOW!! It isn't just about kissing, it's truth or dare too. Does Madonna have one of these? If not why not?

Tell the truth – which teacher is the most boring? We dare you to dance under the table! Will you kiss the spinner’s nose, or will you forfeit? Which Teacher has the biggest cock?? We dare you to lap dance for us!! Will you kiss the spinners ring??

If Harvey from Sabrina wasn't as fit as he is, we would have changed the channel earlier and avoided this monstrous carbuncle.

[Rubbish TV on: SMTV: Gold - ITV 1 ]

Friday, November 28, 2003

Queer As Shite

We have finally seen the horror that is 'Queer Eye For The Straight Guy'. August archive for the early warning. These five degrees of masterbation take an hour to do what Triny & Suzannah can do in 30 mins. Hopefully the dumper will beckon soon for this quintet, US TV is very fickle. Look for this show to be replaced by 'A Black Man In A White Van', or something just as vile.

Dear Queer Eye,

your gays are all hounds,

woof woof.


Rubbish Gays

[Rubbish TV on: Blue Peter - BBC 1 ]

Thursday, November 27, 2003


Remember the ancient Bunting war from times past? Check September Archives. In short a dreary old queen 'putoutmoreflags' got narked at his inclusion on this site, despite being ultra rubbish. As expected after a while he changed his username, as did I (doh!).

Here he is in all his glory, salope39. Salope if you are reading this, which I suspect you may be. I do this not to toy with you, but as a warning to others, and after all, you DID ask sometime ago to be included again on Rubbish Gays. M'lud I present Exhibit B(umer).

Still as boring as ever...

I feel free, I feel love, I feel you getting your (hunch) back up again!!

Don't Look Now...

Hi Rubbish Gays,

I've sent you one before, but come on...this has to be the most
rubbish...and if you're of a nervous disposition, turn away now.

PLEASE let him be the only gay in the vilage...



Never have the two words, rancid & cock ever gone together as well as they do with smeglover *wrench*.

[Rubbish DVD on: Lord Of The Rings - The Fellowship Of The Ring - Extended Edition ]

Been A Long Time...

Gaydar fuckwits!! Rubbish Gays has avoided the Gaydar since they were banned/suspended/struck off. Now the embargo has been lifted due to yet another ban from a precious homo.

Have read your page for a while now, absolutley love it.... thought I should draw your attention to the following gaydar profile.... it is so rubbish, I thought I had to tell you all about it.... enjoy!!!

one of those self loathing queens if I ever saw one!


Why is he self-loathing? I think this one has real issues:

-I dont try and act str8 or gay like so many gay guys tend 2 do, & I prefer lads like this. (so no gay or straight acting guys??)

- I have started up a male glamour model agency & porn company. At the moment its just web sites but within the next couple of months im going to film my 1st movie, so any1 who would like 2 be in it please msg me. (Any half-wit can do a website and with the rise of digital technology, everyone can make a porn film)

-I am now seeing Olivier, I know I did really want a bf but I met him & couldnt help myself... he lives in London so until we live closer 2 each other we are still gonna shag other lads but so glad im with him. (So you did want a boyfriend or didn't you? Yet he's not really your boyfriend, thanks for sharing that)

-I`m in to things that typical gay men aren`t such as football, pool n ladish stuff but also like 2 go shopping like most gay men. (What does this mean? Sounds to us like you could be a touch boring)

Yes it is!!

Gash In The Attic

Disturbing news this afternoon. Alistair Appleton seems to be have replaced by a lady. No explaination. As a (non) licence payer, we are outraged!!

[Rubbish TV on: Cash In The Attic - BBC 1 ]

Monday, November 24, 2003

Home Taping Is Killing Kylie....And It's Illegal!!

Ironically the 'home taping' guff was on the back of Rubbish Gays Buck Fizz-Are You Ready. This aside, we have obtained proof that most downloaders in the UK are homosexual. Your Honour I present exhibit gAy.

Exhibit gAy

Poor Kylie, the queens favorite. How on earth could this have happened?? Number 6!! As SE-B says, "it's a mixed up world". This proves beyond all reasonable doubt that Minogue first week sales have been severely hampered by the downloading gay. Straights do download I'm sure, but mostly animal porn, so they cannot be held responsible. One good thing may come out of this, she may have to tour, and as long as she doesn't charge Madonna prices she can count on our cash!!

[Rubbish TV on: Blue Peter - BBC 1 ]

Forget Pop Idol 2

Strip for me babe, strip for you!!

Remember instead Korban. Cast your minds back he was first to be voted off Pop Idol 1 for doing a bad impression of Ronan Keating, sad flat cap & denim shirt. However, Korban is fit, well fit, fitter than Will & Gareth. Check out his site.

[Rubbish music on: Jump - Girls Aloud ]

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Without further ado...

Here it is, Boy George's gaydar profile.

'If your cheeky, I love you, if you are are cruel, get lost.'

Mirage or Taboo?

[Rubbish TV on: Kennedy 40:Kennedy Assasination - BBC 2 ]

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Kick It Through My Posts

I'm a well fit fucker, tug on mi nips & all that!!

As a service to the gay community, Rubbish Gays has swiped these pictures from another site. Yes it's that fit fucker Wilko!! Prepare for maximum wankage & ultimate spunking.

Dear Jonny Wilkinson,

Please spunk on us,


Rubbish Gays

PS We don't mind that you're a bit short.

[Rubbish music on: Happy Just To Be With You - Michelle Gayle ]

Friday, November 21, 2003

A Call To Arms

Don't be shy, touch our placards!!Hello B & Q? Yes I'm a gay.....

London is rubbish, The Cheeky Girls are not. How they ever landed this contract is a mystery to us, a gay in the decision making process maybe. I can almost hear them now "Don't be shy, two for one, London bound, for a bum(ing)". As first look the hotpants appear to be gay pink, but no. As can be seen above right, an almost perfect match can be found in the B & Q Tate paint range, it's name? Decadent. I'll say.

[Rubbish TV on: Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps - BBC Three ]

Thursday, November 20, 2003

Gay in Kylie Shocker

I asked around in the gay chat rooms. Seems I am a gay for downloading the new Kylie album, but not as gay as if I paid cash money for it. On an 80's gay crush note, Green from Scritti Polittii is all over the track Someday, I'm wanking already.

[Rubbish music on: Someday -Body Language - Kylie ]

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Last Night

Rubbish Gays dreamt he was in the back of a stationary car, with an old woman on one side, an old man on the other and being sucked off by the dark haired one from t.AT.u. Has this rubbish gay become a rubbish lesbian? Research continues, this may only be a one-off.....

[Rubbish music on: Wigan Pier - Get A Life You Drug Addicts - ]

Friday, November 14, 2003

Slow down get cheeky with me
Even if we were naked, we would still be sexless

Rubbish gays has much respect for these Transylvanian Lollypops, but even we cannot turn the other cheek on this one. Back out for Christmas its Partytime. I should start with the cover really. It's piss poor. Both the girls seem to be having a Linda Barker Currys moment, keep them away from sharp objects. The background serves to add to the horror, while the star in the corner makes it shabby. Eagle eyed readers will be able to make out it contains 'Cheeky Christmas', what is this madness?? As for the rest of the content, a bit like a Talking Heads album this is very hard going. May you never find yourselves never at this party!!
Head off to their website to see them cutting a birthday cake, but not actually eating any of it. It appears they turned 21 on hallowe'en, spooky or gimmick, you decide.

[Rubbish music on: russia2003 - t.a.t.u. ]

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Darren Osbourne -Cocky Fuckwitt

Less talkin, more suckin!!Like I'm listening Grandad!!Get out from behind me gypo!!

Brookside is behind us. All that is ahead is Hollyoaks, look to the future now... Darren Osbourne, who knows or cares what his real name is but he's a nasty piece of work. He was a twat then and he's a twat now, and frankly it's fouling up 'The Dog in the Pond'. Luckly for him he is well fit, and as such needs this sly streak knobbing out of him. As there is only one gay in Chester, and he's a weed, Rubbish Gays puts itself forward for this hard task. Details on Darren's bringing down to earth with a gay bump here, if and when it happens.

[Rubbish music on: maximum overdrive - 2 unlimited ]

A Blind Eye For The Straight Guy

Blazin' Muff Diver!!Girls like the 'special school' Joey look!!Only want to see you laughing in those purple pants!!

Oh the humanity!! Topman's latest attempts to dress the men of our great nation have fallen sadly short of all estimates. I present to you a selection of clothes that go not only against all nature, but they defy the very laws of the colour wheel.
Look again at the jumper in the middle, this kind of woollen nightmare can be found in every students middle draw. It comes out at the first sign of cold, and normally has a hole at the bottom of each sleeve to accommodate a thumb.
Purple shiny pants (see fig.3), not since Prince's Purple Reign have I seen such unnecessarily grape coloured pantage. What do these pants say about the wearer? I suspect they say 'Even the only gay in the village would not wear these britches'.

[Rubbish TV on: Burn It - BBC Three ]

Thursday, November 06, 2003

Prince Charles, rubbish gay??

I'm only here for the queer!!

At the risk of sounding treasonous, Prince Charles has been accused of having cock & ball fun with his 'closest advisor', who I assume is a fag. Of course Charlie boy says he's not a dirt-box devil, but he did turn down the lovely Diana for fag-hagish Camilla. You don't have to be Dannii Minogue to begin to wonder.

Here is the article, its a crap translation, but well worth it for the amusing grammar and word substiutions:

The king house risks everything that it knows this keeping secret, since on it allegedly explosive material is to be over the Sexualleben of prince Charles.

Er did Fawcett approximate too, but which I can make, if my married man an unhealthy relationship wanting with an official is received??

[Rubbish TV on: India's Ladyboys - BBC Three ]

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

A thousand and one wanks

Starsky & Butch, you decide!!

Have the gay version of the Proclaimers bitten off more than they can chew? The million pound property experiment started tonight, in fact it's on right now. It is a temple to all that is gay & rubbish. Even the straight roughnecks on the programme seem to demonstrate more common sense & design tips than these pair. I suspect they secretly ridicule these two, not for being gay, but for one having a funny lip and the other being Lorraine Kelly. Either way this looks like required viewing over the next few weeks. I bet Colin is 1st to cry.

"We don't want any Victorian's telling us how to use our space" Too right Colin!! (or is it Justin?)

[Rubbish TV on: The Million Pound Property Experiment - BBC 2 ]

Tuesday, November 04, 2003


Destiny's children

Last Brookside tonight. No excuse for not watching it.

Click for Jimmy 'the sniff's Corkhills odd site

[Rubbish TV on: Wife Swap - Channel 4 ]

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Final Destination

Thanks to Nerd stats I present the last 3 refers to this site from a Google search:

1- flowers in the attic incest fuck
2- timberlake cock & balls
3- dirty slags who take a load of come over their tits

[Rubbish TV on: Allo allo - BBC 1 ]