It's More Hair-Don't Than A Hair-doo!! or You Know Your Barber Is A Racist When...

Proving that you don't have to be Ce Ce PENIStone to have something finally happen, we at Rubbish Gays have paid to have our haircut. We have been addicted to our Clippers for about 6 years, but we conquered our fear, went to the local scally barber and paid out five English Pounds.

There was us and another 'bloke, waiting, we read the Daily Star.'Bloke' was on his mobile giving the 'wife' grief, he let us go first. Once in the chair Bloke loudly told Barber he had scabs on his head, one of which wouldn't go, he thinks it gets bigger because he kept picking at it. We were glad we went in front.

During my cut, barber told us a story, he heard from 'Pub Guy'. Pub Guy was parked in front of Focus DIY and went to Mcdonalds. On the way back, a black girl stopped him and asked for a chip. They got talking, she said she lived in the flats opposite and would he like to come over for a coffee. Pub Guy and black girl didn't have coffee but they did shag 'All for the price of a chip'. Amusing but not really racist. Wait for it.

Barber's brother told him a story about last week, how he was parked in Focus, went to Mcdonalds, met a black girl, you see where this is going. They fucked. So Barber told Barber's brother that this happened to Pub Guy a few weeks back, if I were you I would get myself check out for diseases. Barber then turned to Bloke and said..

"I don't know about you but in my book, black girls always have AIDS"

Bloke just nodded.

We thought 'What would Jackie Onasis would have done?'. We said nothing.

We are indeed Rubbish Gays, but on a brighter note we seem to make a convincing straight customer for card/scissor carrying members of the BNP. Welcome to Tyldesley.

Banadonna

OK we are reading about Madonna but listening to Banananrama. Yes we really are that rubbish. OK the two new songs on the Madonna's are HOT, obviously. Viva! The LP by The Nanas is actully VERY good, better than Drama which was hot!! Anyhow ones an Icon, the others are pike-ons. Loving you Keren & Sarah!!

As a Concerned Citizen

The BBC are on the case, say no more.

Simon Make Us A Dancer, Google Chrome Give Us The Answer

Oh dear Google and we thought we were rubbish. Do you see what you have done? Yes your logo looks suspiciously like mega crap 80's electronic game Simon. It could have only looked crapper if it looked like this...



Our cousin Rosie had this bad boy for Christmas 1982. From memory it only had two tunes you could 'name' The Yellow Rose Of Texas & Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.
...and here's the lovely Maggie Moone to Sing That Tune!!

Two Gays In A Bath One Says To The Other 'Where's The Soap'?

...and the other says 'Yes, It does doesn't it'. OK we know this classic joke is really about 2 nuns in a bath, but there are gay times ahead in our nations soap operas so an emergency substitution is acceptable.



As seen in above article Rubbish Gay Anthony Cotton's character Sean Tully in Coronation Street is getting a new love interest. As he is so rubbish and camp we ask ourselves 'What will this new beau look like?' See above. He is fit, attractive and waaaay out of Sean's league. So we ask ourselves WTF?

While we were WTF-ing ourselves THIS came in....



OMG Eastenders are at it too!! And at the same time!! To be honest we think Christian is a lil bit hot, we have perved on him before. We would definitely do him. He has a thing for wearing vest tops, we have weedy arms so are unable to partake of the vest/tank top.

So we at Rubbish Gays are going to throw all our weight behind the Eastenders gay storyline. We would actually quite get turned on when they make out, whereas with Coronation Street we are gonna need a bucket when Sean starts his seduction routine. May we add 'blee'.

OK, forewarned is forearmed. Get ready for a hot summer gayfest, some of it won't be pretty, but like a car accident we won't be able to help looking (and being sick), and neither will you. Enjoy!

Gaydar Facelift In Worse Than Donatella Versace Shock!

Gaydar went offline for 3 hours this morning and came back with a facelift. It's WELL rubbish. Can you see what we have done? *snigger*

An Apple A Day Puts A Donk On Us Gays Or Ben Fogle's Extreme (Wet) Dreams

Posh totty. We secretly love it. These are two of our favorites Alistair Appleton & Ben Fogle. Unless you are unemployed, or ill you may not have seen Alistair before he inhabits daytime TV primarily Cash In The Attic & House Doctor. He's tall, hes attractive, and fuck us if he isn't a Buddhist darling. Alistair's rival is the media whore Ben Fogle, started on Castaway now he's all over the place Animal Park, Extreme Dreams, even stepping on Alistair's toes Spunking In The Attic. Both are tall, both are posh, but as you might suspect we already have a favorite.

Alistair, stare, staaaaaare. We can't help looking at him he's so dreamy. It must have hurt when he fell from heaven. So this article is biased we don't care. We only looked for pictures of Ben but Alistair we dug a little deeper. We can confirm he IS a homosexual, but he is the kind of clean living homo that makes us feel more disgusted with the way we live our day to day degraded life. As previously mentioned he's a Buddhist, but get this, he teaches classes at some hippy thing.

'Alistair’s lively and non-dogmatic workshops seem to appeal to a very broad audience not usually attracted to spiritual practice and his easy manner brings the techniques of meditation alive for a practitioner living in the modern world.'

After reading this all we came away with is he might like it doggy style, he's easy and he probably likes Sheena Easton. Not that we would attend his classes, there would probably be homework involving not taking drugs, not having sex or not watching Family Guy, but we love the fact that the option is always there for us to get one on one with the Apple.

In conclusion we would fuck both of them, but when we were fucking Ben we would be imagining it were Alistair.

Uh oh She's Got A Storyline Again....

They say that the best gays have no gag reflex, which accounts for our ability to do excellent deepthroat. This is true on the whole, except when it comes to Anthony Cotton. Gag-reflex or not he is enough to make even the most macho macho man puke in their handbag.

Yes one of our favorite rubbish gayers has been given a storyline on Coronation Street!! For the Helen Keller types out there we have highlighted the most unlikeliest aspect of this whole charade. There's going to be a Mr Gay Weatherfield? What the fuck? Are the writers on LSD? This is how Sean is supposed to meet the new love of his life? We apologise for all the question marks but what the fuck? Let's think.... Mr Gay Weatherfield, it's a bit like Mr Gay Salford, ain't gonna happen. We assume either Sean enters the competition or goes out with the winner of the competition. FYI Point 1, there are NO gays in Weatherfield. Point 2, Sean Tully is a reet hound, by which we mean ugly. Pointer Sisters aside this looks like the most barf making storyline since Deidre slept with Dev.

On a positive note. There maybe some local hunks on, and we all like to see big gays in our soaps. We are only hoping Blanche gets a big part in this upcoming travesty. We feel Blanche Hunt always brings a sense of realism to the table. Hold on, Anthony Cotton is on Twitter? We bet that is a laugh a minute. We will sign up for updates. This looks as if it could be pure gold!

What Have I Done To Deserve Chris?

Quite why Neil was a chess piece and Chris was a dead ringer for Britney/Anne Robinson we may never know. However as previously imagined the Pet Shop Boys at the Brits was a real extravaganza! Apart from the bit when we heard Dusty Springfield turn in her grave as Lady Gaga JUST DANCED over it (all day all day).

We will do more on this article tommorrow we promise.

All Gay All Gay, Watch Them All Fall Down (Domino Dancing)

We fucking love the Pet Shop Boys. We don't care if Chris Lowe has never come out cos we would still let him bum us stupid (I'm with). Look above to see the sleeve for their forthcoming elpee 'Yes'. We were wanking ourselves silly waiting for their last album but it was a bit of a disappointment. Even with Trevor Horn at the helm it just didn't hit the spot. However 'Yes' according to all sources promises to be a spunkfest of pop, which is nice, something to look forward to.

Neil & Chris are getting the Outstanding Contribution To Music Award at this years Brit Awards and we here at Rubbish Gays couldn't be any prouder. At every step of our rubbish gay lives the PSB's have been there. The amusement of asking for "Please please", then "Actually please" at our local record emporium back in the day still brings a comedy tear to our japs eye. Their seminal work Results with Liza Minelli helped us through a very troubled time when we were at that difficult age.

In conclusion, Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe, we bow before you, we would also suck you off but that's a different story. Our seat will be moist to say the least when you take to the stage on the 18th. We have also ordered extra ketamine in. GAWD BLESH YOUZ!! *salutes*