Regular readers will know we have a thing for Frankie Goes To Hollywood, on K this turns into an unhealthy obsession
. Needless to K, we have been off it lately and made an alarming discovery. Frankie are back, in a half arsed fashion. Unlike the return of Bananarama this 'return' is nout to wank over.
Anyone who saw the VH1 Bands Reunited, read the Saint Holly Johnson book 'A Bone In My Flute', or knows anything about anything, will already know FGTH were really only Saint Holly. The remaining band members pretended to play instruments, while Paul Rutherford did a clone version of Bez IE wanking about on stage with a 'tache looking like Magnum P.I. gone wrong. 'So Rubbish Gay, is this the original FGTH lineup?' Is it fuck!! Saint Holly has been wise to avoid all contact with this bunch of old scally naffs, leaving the four remaining members in a pickle. Obviously the lure of five dolla proved too much for this Spacktastic Four, see Queen & INXS for further information on 'The lead singers gone, we are well fucked', so a new frontman seems to have been scraped from the bottom of a tard barrel.
Looking like a pervy nephew and his funny uncles this is the 'NEW' Frankie. Do you remember me? Who is this grim queen? We needed to know. Seems Saint Hollys replacement is 28 year old Ryan Malloy, oh great so she was seven when Relax came out. His credentials? 'A West End singing star (Taboo, Jerry Springer The Opera).' Sounds like a big shiny brown star whose magnitude fades like a flower when compared to say, Darren Gay. Faggy is as faggy does, and this faux Frankie needs a hell of a big circle of shame round it. Where DID you get that ladies top? She's pure Primark.
'We're a long way from home' Yup we fuckin' are but we ain't accepting a lift from these money grabbing jokers. Do yourselves a favour, don't get excited about this 'reunion' it will only lead to trouble and...seat wetting. Saint Holly Johnson once again we salute you for knowing you can NEVER go home again. We once had correspondence from the very man himself
, so in a KKKaze last night we mailed him again to let him know how we feel. Fingers & legs crossed we may get a reply. We will be keeping a closer eye on our box from now on.
[Rubbish music on: Rage Hard (Dirty Harry - Remix by Liebrand) - Frankie Goes To Hollywood ]