Balonie Omiepalone

F.Y.(Jap's) I. this article was written two months ago, the moment we thought had past but at 00:00 tonight in BBC2 is the programme which inspired us to blah in the first place



In between watching Big Brother, thinking about wanking, and downloading Harry Potter we have had a quiet week. Two nights ago, in a weakend state BBC Four was on, (where the fuck is the remote, I'm not gettin up) and guess what? They have gone gay too, well for one night only. A Prick Up Your Ears, a thing about Round The Horn (ask an older gay), but most amusingly was the short documentry about the lost language of the cranes gays, Polari. We like Lord Reith and Jonny Ball, feel we have a duty to inform, educate & entertain. With that lofty ideal in mind and dictaphone in hand, we separate the wheat from the chaff and the camp (from K.A.M.P Know As Male Prostitute) from the naff ( Not Available For Fucking), can we talk?

In the Sixties being gay wasn't just rubbish but against the law. No bumming sounds like a laughing matter now, but for gays gone by, in times ass, it was no joke! Now if we know anything about gay men, is that they love to talk. How though to ensure maximum gossip without loose lips sinking ships?? Speak in tongues? Too Holy. Speak in code? Bingo!! Replace one word with another, bilmey!! Polari was born.

So now if on national handbag day, dewey omipolone's are having a buvare at a bungery cackling varda the bona chicken's basket, omie & palone will be nanti nishta.

[Rubbish TV on: Star Trek:Voyager - SKY One ]