The funk of forty thousand years



A rancid All Hallows Eve to one and all. Rubbish Gays saw a Ring last night, and tonight hopes to see your Ring 2. Here's hoping Manchester's finest are out on Canal St tonight. Burn the witch!! Duck her in the Canal!! In the mood for a lynching a bender.

[Rubbish TV on: Ed - Channel 4 ]

Jack whacks off!!



In full view of the newlyweds and young Joshy. This is shocking stuff. Hold on to your hat though dear Beverley cos.....



Barry Grant is back!! After killing his ex and his baby, then nipping off to burn down Sun Hill, he's back to sort that druggie out!! Barry is not that great but his dead brother our Damon was well fit.

[Rubbish TV on: Wife Swap - Channel 4 ]

Barbie has a new mission


As you can see Barbie has a new life ahead of her. Not a life of crime fighting it seems, but dressing badly. She is too thin for Wonder Woman, too old for Supergirl, and looks a twat as Batgirl. 'I wanna be Barbie, that bitch has everything!!' I remember seeing that on a gay t-shirt years back. Of course we used to be even more rubbish than we are now, and can see the error of our ways. Barbie shite is everywhere, fuckin Rapunzel Barbie, Cinderella Barbie, Kelly Osbourne Barbie, can you see a theme developing. As for that advert with Barbie's crap mix kitchen thing, brownies?? Fruity gels?? There's not even a fuckin doll in it. Where is Jem when you need her??

PS Don't get us wrong, we still want these dolls, curse our gayness!!

[Rubbish TV on: Liquid Assets Kylie's Millions - BBC 3 ]

Cuming soon (over a back near you)

-Can you be so gay you actually are straight, or Cult of the Wannagay.

-Cheeky Girls V's t.A.T.u.

-Rubbish readers recommendations.

Rubbish Gays was up late last night watching The Wicker Man, and now has thumb up own arse. Meanwhile here are an early version of Satanic Club 8 from the aforementioned Wicker, hail satan!!

[Rubbish TV on: The Queen's Nose - BBC 1 ]

Burn it then shag it!!



Let the wanking commence for Burn It. The gay count is zero, but the trackies & trainers rule!!

[Rubbish music on: Daft Punk - Revolution 909]

Possibly the rubbishiest gay escort ever

Meet David, a gay escort with reasonable rates. The Deirdre Barlow specs are not optional, the suspension of disbelief however is. How can this joker can say he's 27, he's about 39 if he's a day. One of the principles of escort/rent is ugly people pay nice people. Rubbish gays gets the feeling this poor misguided soul doesn't work much.

[Rubbish music on: Waiting for tonight - Jennifer Lopez ]

Jack Off!!

Brookie's hard man gives rubbish gays a hard-on. Looks like Jack Michealson is well-hung after all, or will be in a few weeks.

Michaelson, a drug dealer, will end up hanging from a window in the Brookside finale, which will be broadcast in November, according to a newspaper report today.

---

Dear Phil Redmond,

Please fix it for a gay, to have some shots of Jack getting dressed, in shower, etc.

Wanking already

Rubbish Gays

[Rubbish music on: Aerodynamic - Daft Punk ]

Hungry Like The Wolf

Whilst dusting off Rubbish Gays Cheeky Girls Dossier, we came across this. Yes the sexless two as usual, but wait, who's this in the background? Mikey Pop Tattoo Idol Phixx Green. Don't be shy Mikey touch my bum. Proving yet again that good things come in threes (apart from Atomic Kitten).

[Rubbish music on: Good Boys (Scissor Sisters Extended Mix) - Blondie ]

Rubbish Gays

Keen daytime viewers will already recognise this motley pair, those who work may not. This is Colin & Justin, I never know which is which, both of whom are Scottish homos. They have a knack of entering a home & filling it with crappo design tips. These tips always consist of a radiator cover, potato prints on lamp shades & fruit arranged in groups of three Eg 3 oranges in a fire place or 3 bananas in the bath, etc. Judging from the picture above they have very little style, but at least they don't wear kilts, like the short fat scottish guy on 'insert crappo home show title here'.

[Rubbish TV on: Trading Up - BBC 1 ]

Fuck Tinhead!!

Just arrived on Brookside Close is Jack Michaelson, he's as fit as fuck, and hard as nails. A real bruiser, fuck I hope he's a gay. If you have seen his knob mail me!! Only 2 more episodes to go, bring it on!!

[Rubbish TV on: The Romans In Britain - BBC 2 ]

Headset hell

Like most rubbish gays I have worked in a call centre, well several, but never made it above the position I was taken on at. They prefer women team leaders at BT I'm sure. Here is a gay who has made it to the 2nd tier. Enjoy him drip scorn on his co-workers, and vist this site often, his stuff about 'smoke club' is excellent.

'Rule number one; do not talk about lung cancer, smelly clothes, smelly breath or how much you spend on the glorious weed.'

[Rubbish TV on: Brookside - Channel 4 ]

Pay attention!!

What follows are some very fit & tasty gay lads, 100 % F-I-T-ness!!! All in Manchester showing again that Northern lads are the horniest:

Young Adidas Boy
Danlad
Tall Jason
Gucci Gay Guy
Oi Boi
Daz Green 82
.impendingsex.

Fit lads exist all over, I want to find them.

Click here to send me details of more fit lads!!!!

Global homo-watchers pay attention!!

If you are gay and live in Manchester then you will have already heard about the Market Street Mincer. For everyone else, this odd tall rubbish gay could often be seen strutting up and down Manchester's busy shopping street. readily identifed by tip-to-toe denim, salon tan and uncomfortable mincing walk. After catching up on all the news on the Essential Message board it appears the Mincer has fled these shores. Beware when next down the supermercudo that this misfit isn't behind you. If he is, post a message on the forum.

[Rubbish music on: Hello Joe - Blondie ]

Complete Shite!!

Readers may know how much rubbish gays hates Mr Gay UK, so when our eyes were drawn to this Porn Idol Manchester we wondered if a whole new level of rubbishness was about to rear it's rancid head. Get this, you can 'win' a part in a gay porn video. Where did it all go wrong??

'Each week, we will audition the hopefuls on stage in Essential, Manchester.'

What exactly will this audition consist of? For audition read, job interview in public, as for 'winning' a part, does this mean you are to be bummed for free?

If anyone has entered this competition or knows someone that has, or has even entered someone else with their knowledge alert rubbish gays straight away!!

We Have A Winner!!

When the words 'I'm not your ordinary gay hairdresser' spilled from this gypsys mouth I knew we were in for trouble. He should have been excluded due to incorrect use of the word 'primadonna' & the wearing of hotpants. What have we learned from this experiment? Scousers are gobby, queens are camp & teenagers are always at it.

[Rubbish music on: Uptown Top Ranking - Althia and Donna ]

A Cock For All Seasons

Lets look at these results. After an early lead Mike Dixon has been judged only 3rd largest suspected cock. Rubbish Gays thinks the Timberlake's cock is vastly overrated. A fat tongue by no means equals a fat cock, so how Jamie has reached number 2 I will never know. Finally the young Princes, oh dear a very poor showing from our future King. Harry at the bottom can mean only one thing, if you have ginger leanings, people will think your tool is tiny.

Signs to look out for sure fire length & girth:
- Big Hands
- Big Nose
- Cleft chin/dimple

WARNING: Never judge from bulge alone. Some men have overly large balls, Rubbish Gays has fell into this trap before.

New poll over to the left. Vote now!!

[Rubbish TV on: Neighbours - BBC 1 ]

Another Rubbish Gay!!

Meet Simon, he spunks up over Austin Allegros!!

[Rubbish TV on: Hollyoaks - Channel 4 ]

Brown Stars In Their Eyes

Having just seen this years Mr Gay UK on the Salon, I must make one thing clear. I did NOT vote for this ginger-in-disguise. Really queers, is he the best we can do?? Poor Jerrod Batchelor (boy) he has only has a career in chatline adverts & crappo porn vids to look forward to. Look out for him at a gay resort near you soon!!

STOP THE PRESS!!

Mr Gay UK has a site!! You can win a date, or pay for a signed photo WOW!!

[Rubbish TV on: The Salon - Channel 4 ]

When rubbish gay things go bad II

From : Tony
Date : 04 October 2003 18:14
To: game.one@virgin.net
Subject: Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish

Gaydar was always rubbish but the new look is rubbish beyond belief, especially those dogs they've got to model for the main page.

Tony

Dear Tony, would that rubbish gays were allowed on to Gaydar anymore. After the last part of the 'bunting war', rubbish gays was banned. For what? 'Theft of intelectual copyright'. Seriously. The new log-in screen changes to a different set of unappealing hounds on every vist. Damn, we must get back in!!

[Rubbish DVD on:8 Mile ]

Shiver my fucking timbers

Rubbish gays doesn't seem to see many new films. So you can imagine how balls were bursting when a dodgy mate comes over with 'Pirates of the Carribean'. Johnny Depp is well fit, it's been official for years. However in the pirate/eyeliner, the fitness was lost. Enter Orlando Blooming fit. After a day of masterbating over a shaky VHS copy, a non-dodgy mate dropped off 'Lord of the rings 2:the revenge', much cleaner he was, the Bloom boy that is. I would do him and the merry whatstheirnames, and Frodo, even though we know that sex between men of contrasting heights never works, at best it just looks wrong. There is also the feet, never sure about the link between feet & penis size. Rubbish gays has learned to watch for dimples & big noses for a big knob potential.

[Rubbish TV on: Born to win - BBC1 ]