Yesterday Once More

Yesterday we did GL. Yesterday we had the ambulance call round on us.Yesterday the Police called after. No joke. To Bolton Infirmary we were delived in the back of a Police van in sox, and handcuffs, sounds erotic, but wasn't. Hurt's our shoulder even now. Oww!!

TOP TIP:When you have taken GBL or GHL with freinds, make sure they put you to bed. Not send you home with a 'caring' housemate. Remember 'Owww!!, Police , Ambulance'. REMEMBER!! ALSO HANDCUFFS, THEY HURT OWW!!

Is God Fit?

Smallville has a hottie, no it's not God, though if you haven't downloaded DC's The Bible you should do so now.



No it's gay named Oliver Queen (I love a queen get it?). Gawd he's fit AND wears a costume and everything. The Green Honest is funny, but Green Arrow is horny. Check out his pictures. We used to think Clark Bent was fit but now he's agreed to marry Lois Lame, it happened over 10 years ago in the comics so we shouldn't be suprised. Get ready for Olkly wearing a suit, drool, with luck he will take his top off. BTW this is the last ever season of Smallville so get onoard while there is still time. Clark has the suit but hasn't become Superman yet. We wait!!

Who The Fuck Are You?

Argh this is why I hate living in Tydesley. To be (Rachel St)evens about this rubbish gays exist everywhere. Should I put a 'LOL' here? Oh fuck you, fuck off!!

Cheap Fags

Thanks to Anonymous back in June (Yes we are THAT slow). Here's a picture of (money grabber, drop-of-a-hat) Sean Tully opening Poundland. It was back then and it was a landmark shop 100th I think.

Note pink shirt worn by young boy, note Gordon Kaye from 'allo 'allo in the middle. Furthermore check out the guy on the right. He looks disgusted. Damn right.

PS After watching Coronation Street we noticed Sean's love interest slip out his fingers. Thank fuck. That's all we can say. Thank fuck. Sean if you are reading this, we imagine you are the type of person that often Googles himself, PLEASE email us. We would love to hear from you. A man like you could easily become our biggest fan (bigger than Sir Holly Johnson. Our email is here just remove the naff.

Sick, Weak, Fucked Off (Join Our Club)

You don't have to be Cher to believe but Rubbish Gays has been ill. Not that we have been ill for months, we have just been lazy on this column. We have been ill for a week, yes with a strong cough, but very strong. Our mother was involved!

The most heinous part to being ill is watching daytime television. Everybody Loves Raymond!! Now we hate this show, but this morning we laughed at it, several times, shame on us. Rosemary & Thyme, we have been watching it EVERY day and love it, shame on us. We are in bed by 11pm, shame on us. We avoided Gaydar for 2 weeks, shame on us. We haven't had gay sex for 6 weeks, shame on us. We haven't done Ketamine for 7 weeks now, nor weed for 4. We know we are letting our local dealers down, but we can't help it. SORRY.

PS Our Benylin was non-drowsy too!! Holy shit!!

It's More Hair-Don't Than A Hair-doo!! or You Know Your Barber Is A Racist When...

Proving that you don't have to be Ce Ce PENIStone to have something finally happen, we at Rubbish Gays have paid to have our haircut. We have been addicted to our Clippers for about 6 years, but we conquered our fear, went to the local scally barber and paid out five English Pounds.

There was us and another 'bloke, waiting, we read the Daily Star.'Bloke' was on his mobile giving the 'wife' grief, he let us go first. Once in the chair Bloke loudly told Barber he had scabs on his head, one of which wouldn't go, he thinks it gets bigger because he kept picking at it. We were glad we went in front.

During my cut, barber told us a story, he heard from 'Pub Guy'. Pub Guy was parked in front of Focus DIY and went to Mcdonalds. On the way back, a black girl stopped him and asked for a chip. They got talking, she said she lived in the flats opposite and would he like to come over for a coffee. Pub Guy and black girl didn't have coffee but they did shag 'All for the price of a chip'. Amusing but not really racist. Wait for it.

Barber's brother told him a story about last week, how he was parked in Focus, went to Mcdonalds, met a black girl, you see where this is going. They fucked. So Barber told Barber's brother that this happened to Pub Guy a few weeks back, if I were you I would get myself check out for diseases. Barber then turned to Bloke and said..

"I don't know about you but in my book, black girls always have AIDS"

Bloke just nodded.

We thought 'What would Jackie Onasis would have done?'. We said nothing.

We are indeed Rubbish Gays, but on a brighter note we seem to make a convincing straight customer for card/scissor carrying members of the BNP. Welcome to Tyldesley.

Banadonna

OK we are reading about Madonna but listening to Banananrama. Yes we really are that rubbish. OK the two new songs on the Madonna's are HOT, obviously. Viva! The LP by The Nanas is actully VERY good, better than Drama which was hot!! Anyhow ones an Icon, the others are pike-ons. Loving you Keren & Sarah!!