One Fine Gay

The rancidity that is Porn Idol *gag* is back. The final is at the rubbishest gay club in Little Britain, G-A-Why-Oh-Why. Hosted by our very own Brian Dowling. Last years prize was some Clone Zone Vouchers, a part in a porn film, and some poppers, not a clue what this years lucky winner will get. Apart from being fuck up the ass of course.

As can be seen by this tacky .gif, they all bow down Emperor Ming of Mongo. If we EVER saw porn staring any of these hounds it would rape our eyes. Of course if you are one of the Porn Idolists please do write in. We would love to hear from you. Mail to usual address.

[Rubbish music on: Love Comes Again -Tiesto featuring BT]

Smear/Queer Campaign

Hi, I'm Jason from the Big Brother house. I'm not gay. That's me in the first picture bending over for a gay housemate (I'm not gay). There I am in the second, mounted on top of the same housemate. He's gay, but I'm not. Did I say that already? The last picture, just a bit of fun, nothing remotely poofy going on there. Did I mention I'm training to be an air steward? One more thing, I'm not gay.

[Rubbish TV on: Soylet Green - BBC 1 ]

New School Uniform

Yes It's New

...but don't fear it.

[Rubbish TV on: Diary Room Uncut - e4 ]

Tears For Souvenirs

Reality TV's rubbish gay has, only six days in, been performing like (brown) star. Big Brother 5's Marco has been weeping, wailing and quite frankly giving of such high-pitched whining noises that now only dogs can hear him. Marco you faggot, you really have let the side down. Crying after a queeny strop is perfectly acceptable behaviour, but after someone says they didn't like you?? It's beyond gay, and is in fact girly.

Don't want no more, of this crying gay...

[Rubbish TV on: Relic Hunter - Sky One Mix ]

Are You Proud Enough?

Ok so you're a rubbish gay. You know this, your freinds know it, dagnamit even strangers & stray dogs pick up on it. It's not enough is it? Why not get a tattoo?? It can't hurt that much, can it?? Well guess what?? Beauty IS pain. The classic design or 'gay band' ie black all around ones upper arm, is old hat. All the fags of a 'certain age' have them. You want something bold new and exciting. Something that shouts 'I'm gay, and yes...I'm rubbish!!'. A tattoo that will speak so loud even lesbians will hear it. Mr R Gay, you're in luck, we have some inspiration for you. Hot, hot, hot from the internet comes this queer quintet



Please bear in mind these gaytoos will be your mark of Cain. Forever will it proclaim 'i am a ponce'. Eyes will roll, queens will gush and unattached fag-hags will want to mark your dance card. Death brings no relief, cold on the slab the 'tatt' tells the mortician 'Dress me up I'm your dolly'. That's right, even dead, the tatty-pride lets all know that you lived very gay, but more importantly, it was well rubbish.

[Rubbish TV/Music on: Precious Box - George Michael/Big Brother Live - Channel 4 ]

Fucking Thanks A Lot!!

Dear Bt3a,

Thanks for your attention. Unfortunatly you have fucked up our delicate gay-o-sphere, causing Lycos to pull the rug from under our feet, hence many amusing pictures are unabled to be displayed. Only a naff caption, which hardly ever works on it's own. Like a Starship (brown starfish) Trooper (hunter), we are having to perform a bit of flimflam to put the pictures somewhere else, and change links. Suffice to say it's a ball ache we could do without. Rubbish Gays is awaiting arrival of dodgy speed from an equally dodgy source, to perform aforementioned ball ache tasks.

Meet you on the other side.

Rubbish Gays

[Rubbish TV on: Jurassic Park - ITV1 ]

Big Bender

On our knees yet again yesterday. We made our final plea to the Lord God Almighty (remix), "Please let there be a gay in Big Brother". Two Santa Marias, four Like A Prayers later & wearing our tie like Richard Gere, the prayers of Rubbish Gays have been answered. After 2 years of odd faux bisexual girls, there are bummers in the Big Brother house. Not one but two!! Marco, 'the camp one', and XXXX 'the twat in the hat'. Also batting for the other team a dumb lesbo Kitten. Lesbians are the worse type of rubbish gay, we don't understand them, therefore we don't like them.

It is very hard for us to draw any kind of conclusions about either shit stabber, after all, it's still the first few hours. First impressions, however last, and you can judge a book by it's cover. Marco annoyingly camp (bit fit thou) and Dan could be well-hung but who has the time?? An appeal to Gaydar users!! Have you had a meet, horny or otherwise with either of Odd or Bod? Are they really rubbish or are they playing a very clever game (think Boggle)? All mail to usual snatch!!

[Rubbish DVD on: Freaky Friday ]