Dress Me Up I'm Your Dolly

We clicked twice on a gay.com banner and brought forth this porno marionette. Look its Jeff Stryker!! For non-gays Jeff is a gay porn star, he has a huge cock, which is often up other men's bottoms. Oddly enough he is straight, how rubbish. Not even sure what uses this doll has. Maybe 'point on the dolly to what he was touching'? Anyway it's a steal at $40. We recommend you buy a Kelly Osbourne doll too, teach that bitch a lesson Stryker stylie!!

[Rubbish music on: Finally- Ce Ce Peniston -Energy 98 Live! ]

Don't Ask Don't Tell

A. Reader writes:-

the crew of HMS Northumberland, not gay at all. (you may have to scroll
down for the member of Her Majesty's Armed Forces in pink lycra and nappy)

So rubbish gays like Father Dowling went to investigate. Here is what we found.



How natural and at ease they all seem. I bet they run a tight ship. Hang on though, pink lycra?? Nappy?? Baby make boom-boom?? To save you time here is the offending member.



Meet 'Lieutenant Commander Kevin Rowlands as the delectable and sprightly Flying Flamingo' Oh dear Kevin, or is it Ma'am? A picture can speak a thousand words but this only speaks two, 'Why' & 'Never'. We are all for fags in the Armed Services, after all they do all the best porn videos, but getting them to dress in this demeaning style is unforgivable. Like Victora, we are not amused.

[Rubbish music on: Annie Lennox - Wonderful (Sander Kleinenberg Mix) - Energy 98.1 ]

The Masterbaters Of The Universe

So He-Man was a fag. Who knew?

[Rubbish TV on: ER - Channel 4 ]

Blue Peter......I'll say!!



Now Blue Peter has spread its wings (legs), it has diversified. Blue Peter Flies The World, is the old expedition, except it's more like a holiday. As only Wham! could go to China, only Simon & Matt get to go to San Fransisco. Much hoo-ha made of the earthquake threat, but little mention of the Castro/poppers/bathhouse orgy type stuff that we really want to know about.

[Rubbish music on: I'm Glad (Paul Oakenfold Perfeco remix) - Jennifer Lopez ]

No Wanking In The Corridors!!

For those that work, you maybe unaware that a new series of Grange Hill has just started. This year sees the schools 25th anniversary, yes 25th!! As if this excitement is not enough. Simon O' Brian Brookside's own Romeo & 80's fit-bit plays the new school caretaker, the amusingly named 'Wally'. His collection of trackie pants & sports tops really came alive in the 'Who dug up the school field affair'.



As if this wasn't enough excitement, enter Nick Edwards. He has a dark secret, oddly enough it's that he took part in a racist assault. In our eyes he is a secret gay, and therefore rubbish. As such Rubbish Gays welcomes him open armed & legged.

Never have we been so excited over kids tv, well apart from Nathan in Tracy Beaker. Forget Hollyoaks, this is where it's at.

[Rubbish TV on: Days That Shook The World - BBC2 ]

Rubbish Gays Goes Pop

If you are a gay then one DVD you MUST own is this one. The Pet Shop Boys, one gay, the other probably gay but no confirmation. One thin, one fit as fuck. 3 hours of homo erotica, with a stunning commentary by the boys. After 2 minutes it warms this gay to hear Chris comment on Neil's 1st on screen appearance as 'There she is!!'.

Thrill at the naked arses in 'Being Boring', jerk off over Chris in 'Paninaro '95'' and marvel at Margi Clarke's 'acting' in 'Rent' . Neil & Chris, always a pleasure, never a chore.

[Rubbish music on: Miracles - Pet Shop Boys ]

Gay Dads II: The Revenge

Channel 4 is running the amusingly crass titled 'Making babies the gay way' next week.We will be watching to catch up with the activities of the grim queens Barry & Tony and their test tube twins. For the uninitiated, Barry & Tony splashed the cash & mixed sperm to create these children of the damned. The last documentry showed them shortly after the twins had been born, where they had handed over care straight away to a pair of nannies. God forbid they would get their hands dirty and raise them themselves. Back then neither gay seemed to know how to hold a baby, ( a la Micheal Jackson), and they were very precious about their right to have children. Seems since they have moved to Spain and send their children to school with a bodyguard. Well done!! Barry/Tony you have managed to do what all people with money can do, ie. do whatever you like.
To clarify, we think anyone can have children, even gays , we don't mind. Even Pig Spice has managed to have two. We do take exception to having children just because you are rich bitches with nothing else to spend your money on. Not all parents can be hands-on with their kids, but these posh poofs have the luxury of being loaded, therefore able to spend all the time in the world with them. However choose to pay someone else for it. Poor show.
More homotastic details once the programme has been aired.

PS. The twins were baptised in matching Christian Dior christening robes.

Hate mail for Rubbish Gays to the usual address.

[Rubbish TV on: The Story Of Tracy Beaker - BBC 1 ]