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Rubbish Gays

Gay is the new black, but rubbish is the new brown.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Snap, Crackle, Poppers!!

Smells like teen spirit

Product warning!! It has come to us from several sources that the lids on current poppers bottle are like Dannii Minogue's career, very fragile. Imagine if you will, a homosexual entertainment venue. The WKD is flowing, you've got a glow band, then Cher comes on. Fab!! Get the poppers out!! Ooh sniff *bleargh* Cap back on quick afore the rush cums. Then *break/snap*, the top of the lid comes off in your hand. FUCK!! Too late now, thumb on top, feel the music, hot, sweaty, rubbish. When the pink mist clears you look down. 'What am I going to do now?', lucky for you we have those hints you need.

Top Tips For Popped Off Poppers
- Keep thumb over top at all times
- Don't stop movin'.
- Pass among freinds/strangers. Share the wealth.
- Accept that you will need to get another bottle.
- Get in 'the zone'.
- If desperate, chew a large piece of gum. Push in top of bottle.
- Tell your retailer!!

[Rubbish TV on: Charmed - LIVINGtv ]

Friday, June 18, 2004

American Bandwagon

Trust me, I'm a laywer...
Now that gay marriages is potentially available to gays/lesbos. A whole new raft of 'pink' services is coming available. Have a look at this though for plain cheek. This shifty baldie is a lawyer who 'specializes' in gay divorces. Funny that since it barely exists. Anyhow, if you did get legally married and you want a divorce, look at his face, could you trust him? Thought not. Serves you right for wanting to exit the most sacred of vows.

[Rubbish TV on: Big Brother - Channel 4 ]

Friday, June 11, 2004

The Picture Of Dorien Gay

I vant to suck your cock off

There's something about Marco....

[Rubbish TV on: Probably Big Brother - Channel 4/E4 ]

Thursday, June 10, 2004

One Fine Gay

Money For Nothing, cocks for free
The rancidity that is Porn Idol *gag* is back. The final is at the rubbishest gay club in Little Britain, G-A-Why-Oh-Why. Hosted by our very own Brian Dowling. Last years prize was some Clone Zone Vouchers, a part in a porn film, and some poppers, not a clue what this years lucky winner will get. Apart from being fuck up the ass of course.

As can be seen by this tacky .gif, they all bow down Emperor Ming of Mongo. If we EVER saw porn staring any of these hounds it would rape our eyes. Of course if you are one of the Porn Idolists please do write in. We would love to hear from you. Mail to usual address.

[Rubbish music on: Love Comes Again -Tiesto featuring BT]

Monday, June 07, 2004

Smear/Queer Campaign

Rub it in, rub it in baby!!Ride on time!!Sealed with a kiss...

Hi, I'm Jason from the Big Brother house. I'm not gay. That's me in the first picture bending over for a gay housemate (I'm not gay). There I am in the second, mounted on top of the same housemate. He's gay, but I'm not. Did I say that already? The last picture, just a bit of fun, nothing remotely poofy going on there. Did I mention I'm training to be an air steward? One more thing, I'm not gay.

[Rubbish TV on: Soylet Green - BBC 1 ]

Friday, June 04, 2004

New School Uniform

Yes It's New

...but don't fear it.

[Rubbish TV on: Diary Room Uncut - e4 ]

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Tears For Souvenirs

Reality TV's rubbish gay has, only six days in, been performing like (brown) star. Big Brother 5's Marco has been weeping, wailing and quite frankly giving of such high-pitched whining noises that now only dogs can hear him. Marco you faggot, you really have let the side down. Crying after a queeny strop is perfectly acceptable behaviour, but after someone says they didn't like you?? It's beyond gay, and is in fact girly.

Don't want no more, of this crying gay...

[Rubbish TV on: Relic Hunter - Sky One Mix ]