AutomatiK High

Do you remember us perving on Harry Potter? If not scroll down just a bit fun fans to catch-up. The general cut of our jib was 'It was so wrong to letch before, but now its sooo right'.

In that spirit.

Well Look Who's Legal!



Calvin from pops MOST underated Peados Paradise, the S Club Juniors nee 8!! What with Baby Spice having a baby, and Lucy Beale from Eastenders trying to pop her cherry, rubbish gays is reminded we are both ancient AND justified but time moves on. We accept this. Cher's people still haven't got back to us on if she will help us turn back time, and DON'T ask about Samantha Mumba. Sidetrack. Kissing Gate. Country Roads. Walk a crooked path. Back to the point. Yeah so we had secret lusts for Calvin back in the gay but he was 14. Now that's just wrong. We waited though, silently. We are rewarded.



Here he is! What a hot temptation! He just walked right in. He's about to star in the US version of Wild At Heart, that crap thing you never watch with him off Drop The Dead Donkey & her that used be married Les Dennis, oh and Killer Katy. It's a bit like On Safari but no Biggins. As it's a US drama don't expect to see it anytime soon. We couldn't be arsed it's just nice to Calvin again. OK maybe we will watch if he takes his top off a lot.

Over and out!

Old Kuntz Rest Home

Rubbish Gaydar

As of now this is all that awaits you at Gaydar Towers. The words arse/elbow, and the phrase booze-up in brewery come to mind.

Don't look at me!

We use Gaydar chat too much. There, we confess. Liberating as this is, it's not helping. The 'chat' aspect seems mostly to be lost on a majority of the 'members'.

Mostly.

However this fuckin namby panmy generation of ipod fags have naff all to say for themselves. Apart from...

'I'm bored'

'This is boring'

'Bored now!'

'I'm dying from bordem'

Guess what kids? A picture speaks a thousand words, and nothing says 'I'm a nerdy half-twit' more than having a badge. With the spirit of badges and pictures in mind. We here at Rubbish Towers have created this elegant badge. Just for you!

Wear it with pride! Just so we can all see you coming, you know, and pretend to look busy.

Don't look at me wearing my badge. S'really boring.

[Rubbish TV on:Diagnosis Murder BBC1]

Fuck SM:TV

Mark Rhodes??? NO to be confused with Duran Duran rag hag Nick. You may remember him as the one who lost out to Moby Dick sized Pop Idol Michelle Mcmanus. While Michelle seems to have been pooing in tuppawear for hunchback Gillian Mckieth for the best part of a year, Mark has been carving a new career on Saturday morning TV with partner in criminal records Sam. Sam came 3rd in that years Pop Idol. Sam has more tattoos but is a bit chubbier, so we don't mention him. Get the picture? Yes we see.

Back to basics. Mark had an average voice, and crap hair, he was well off our radar. Until that is he met a pair of clippers & we started to get up early on a Saturday. Now we are up with the lark at Mark's crack. *Hes soooo dreamy*. Yes we know he's a Brummie, normally the accent grates, but the more we see him the more we can't resist his cheeky smile. Like when Bugs Bunny dresses up as a lady and is somehow erotic, Mark is just the same. Chinatown Challenge 2 weeks back we almost shot our load without even touching our dirtbox.

On to this morning it's the last TMI of the series, I'm predicting lots of clips of McFly. In between those we will be having a farewell wank. To illustrate how fit he is we could only find recent pictures on Mark's website. It's quite endearing. Pictures like this one above and of his mum with Darius, etc. BTW whatever happened to Darius? Mail us cos we would probably do Darius too but that's a different story. Mark you may no longer have a place on kids TV, but as long as we have a cock, you shall always have something to sit on. WE SALUTE YOU!

PS. Sam we would still bum you, but would be looking at Mark the whole time. If you can take the humiliation then GAME ON!

[Rubbish TV on:TMI BBC2]

Rubbish Gays = Rubbish Spam\discuss

The fucking cunting fuck fuckers. We turn my back to focus on our drug addiction and it all goes to hell in a handbasket. Blogger Help is as much an oxymoron as Sky News, or a good Lily Allen record. Drug addled or not we are back on the ball. Spam?!?! Our fucking arse. For those of you that have ever got fucked by us, you can testify, we don't need no stinkin' Viagra or penis enlargement (It's as long as a DVD case & thick, and we already have our own dolly dealer).

Once Blogger has pulled it's head out of it's arse we will rejig the template. Stick the links, counter & contact us details back on. BTW fact fans 146,742 of you fools have suffered this shit thus far. Thanks for your support. We love you guys.

[Rubbish Music on: Poison Arrow-ABC-Century Fm]

Fuck Harry Potter? (God it looks like Daniel, must be the klouds in my koffee)

Fuck us but what is happening??? Shut the fuck up it's a rhetorical question. Remember our (quite frankly wrong) obbsession with Calvin from S Club 8 nee Juniors? Well this one is much better.

Harry fucking Potter, WOT A HUNK, who knew? I called Pink, she claimed to know but shes a lesbo so her info is flakey at best.

Daniel oh yes, i would deffo Goblet his Fire. I'd stick my Philosopher's Stone up his Azkaban no messing. Half Blood Prince? Is this a reference to the semi-on I get looking at these new quite frankly erotic pics. Shut the fuck up again it's rhetorical. We can't quite form a last pun about his Chamber Of Secrets, but it sounds erotic.

One last note. Unlike some of you perverts we haven't been waiting the past five years like Leona for a Moment Like This. Again quoting ourselves 'You don't have to be Dannii Minogue to begin to wonder, nor do you have to be Cher to believe'. A young man without his top needs no more praise. Why guild the lily?

Coming soon, our new found love of Mark Brummie from Sam & Mark/TMI and our constant annoyance at the replacement of Alistair Appleton with Posh Ben Fogle on our screens. It's NOT right NOR is it OK.

Rubbish Music on: Mason ft. Princess Superstar - Perfect Exceeder