Three Queers in a (spunk) fountain



The Salon on Channel 4, home to some reality benders. Rubbish Gays normally watches The Simpsons but due to straight boring sport, in this case Snooker, so like Madonna we pushed the button and changed the channel. The three usual suspects above are all rubbish gayers. Meet Jorge, a big girls blouse. Then John, his hair always lets him down. Finally Terry, this ewok really gets our goat. He always has to be in the background somewhere, lurking and being generally faggy. On a positive note they are always entertaining, apart from Jorge & Terry.

[Rubbish TV on: Hollyoaks - Channel 4 ]

I believe in miracles, don't you?!



Sometimes if you think about things for long enough, they actually happen. Here it is Rick Astley's Love Songs, out next week. Maybe if we think hard enough Right Said Fred's Greatest Hits could be in our nations record emporiums by the end of the month.

[Rubbish music on: Gia - Despina Vandi ]

Step Back In Time



Rubbish gays has returned from a night out. The club we frequent has 3 dance 'arenas'. We are concerned only with the one known as the 'Hazel Dean' room. It's as if 90's never happened, poppers a-go-go. We were caught up in the mix of this magic hat trick:
Rick Astley- Together Forever
Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax
Bananarama - More, More, More

Rubbish gays has decided now that staying in is the new going out.

[Rubbish music on: Smooth - Iio ]

Take Me To The Clouds Above?

Bin this rubbish straight away. Drop & drag into the recycle bin!! It's as if 'Let the music lift you up' never happened. The blame lies squarely with DJ Sammy. J'accuse!!!

[Rubbish TV on: CD:UK - ITV 1 ]

What Does She Have To Do?

Urgh. Kylie, poor bitch. The more famous Minogue has seen fit to play G-A-Y again. Young posh queens as well as those older ones full of foundation and eye make-up have been rejoycing ever since. We are saddenend to hear this. Poor Kylie. How low will you go? The G-A-Y website is awash with rubbish gays anticipating entering a legal K hole for the first time.

'Looking forward to Madonna at G-A-Y tho.
Sorry Kylie, I spose next best is better than nothing.
For the record, I do like Kylie I have a Fever phone case!' Ah the mobile phone facia, the mark of true fandom!!

'let's hope our lovely Kylie performs better the devil you know!
i'm travelling sixty miles to watch her shake her thing!! i'm trying not to get emotional. i promised myself i wouldn't cry!' It's your party, cry if you want to.


'I might just faint.
Hmmm I won't believe it until I see her there in the flesh and then still I think ya will have to pinch me.
I'm so gonna be on the stage first after her performance, to grace the stage that just been on.' I'm sure the stage will still be slightly warm (pass the poppers)

Remember though Kylie G-A-Y is normally the first step either into or out of the D-U-M-P-E-R. Wear sensible shoes.

[Rubbish TV on: CD:UK - ITV 1 ]

Dress Me Up I'm Your Dolly

We clicked twice on a gay.com banner and brought forth this porno marionette. Look its Jeff Stryker!! For non-gays Jeff is a gay porn star, he has a huge cock, which is often up other men's bottoms. Oddly enough he is straight, how rubbish. Not even sure what uses this doll has. Maybe 'point on the dolly to what he was touching'? Anyway it's a steal at $40. We recommend you buy a Kelly Osbourne doll too, teach that bitch a lesson Stryker stylie!!

[Rubbish music on: Finally- Ce Ce Peniston -Energy 98 Live! ]

Don't Ask Don't Tell

A. Reader writes:-

the crew of HMS Northumberland, not gay at all. (you may have to scroll
down for the member of Her Majesty's Armed Forces in pink lycra and nappy)

So rubbish gays like Father Dowling went to investigate. Here is what we found.



How natural and at ease they all seem. I bet they run a tight ship. Hang on though, pink lycra?? Nappy?? Baby make boom-boom?? To save you time here is the offending member.



Meet 'Lieutenant Commander Kevin Rowlands as the delectable and sprightly Flying Flamingo' Oh dear Kevin, or is it Ma'am? A picture can speak a thousand words but this only speaks two, 'Why' & 'Never'. We are all for fags in the Armed Services, after all they do all the best porn videos, but getting them to dress in this demeaning style is unforgivable. Like Victora, we are not amused.

[Rubbish music on: Annie Lennox - Wonderful (Sander Kleinenberg Mix) - Energy 98.1 ]