Rubbish Gays

Gay is the new black, but rubbish is the new brown.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Present Tense



A gift that never stops giving. What could that be? A Prisoner Cell Block-H box set? No. A pair of Aussie Bums? Not even close. Syphilis? Almost. Those with eyes cannot have failed to notice the picture above, yes, looking at it will rape your very eyes. Imagine then this 'artifact' in your home, maybe on top of your television. Welcome to our world.

Straight people as we all know are a strange breed, a fact we are normally oblivious too in our gay/spunk bubble. Pretend for a minute you are a non-gay (this will be harder for the lesbos out there). Imagine you know a gay (again, a stretch for you lezzers). Imagine you want to buy this gay a gift. Imagine you have no taste at all. Welcome to our world.

A man/woman couple Rubbish Gays associates with visited earlier on this week. "We have got you a present. " Can you imagine our pure terror at taking this statuette out of bubble wrap? Well we glimpsed the head then handed it over to a senior partner for opening, whilst we died laughing. Straight people like Kelly Osbourne's career are fragile. In light of this the gay 'art' is now sat pride/shame of place on top of the TV.

After many days, the many, many details on this artwork were discovered. The 'young' one is wearing an ID bracelet. hes called Jamie. Hmmmm. Their jeans have rips at the back, dirty. The gay 'daddy' has a crap chest tattoo, and neither of then has horny/name brand underwear.

WARNING. Gays beware!! You may think you have been accepted by your so-called straight mates, as did we, but like resident evil/Elton John there is horror around every corner. Protect yourselves! Go minimalist! Do NOT endure like we have, a pervy gay dad/son nick-nack/crip-crap with 4 silvery eyes looking at us watching Trisha. END OF WARNING.

[Rubbish Porn on: Scally Boy Orgy - Triga ]

4 Comments:

Anonymous mrstevie said...

That is f*ckin hideous.

1:35 pm  
Anonymous lily said...

Is it just me, or does it looks like Patrick Stewart and Tony Blair?

1:46 pm  
Blogger Deano said...

Any friend of mine presenting me with that fucking hidious object d'art would very swiftly find themselves down at A&E having a shiny silver butt plug removed.

9:07 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a christmas gift site/blog. It pretty much covers gift ideas for christmas related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

6:08 am  

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