A Tale Of Two Bummers

The Road To El Dorado this afternoon was a cornucopia of gayness. It was a bit like the Million Pound Property Experiment, but set in 16th century South America. Extra points for male animated bottom nudity, not seen since Titan A.E. (Points taken away by Elton John's bumming songs).

[Rubbish music on: Im Glad (Paul Oakenfold Perfec - Jennifer Lopez ]

Dancing Like A Cunt

Rubbish Gays spent most of the weekend in company of other rubbish gays & a wipe-clean dance mat. A declaration must be made:Dance mat games are the most fun in the world EVER. Having converted a causal gamer in to a dance mat lover, the word MUST be spread. The gem pictured above includes the classic 'One Step Closer', so no excuses. There are of course no extra points for waving your arms about, but why not anyway.

Meanwhile searching for alternatives we came across this new item 'hot from Japan'. Normally they always have the best stuff, but this looks like purest shite.



"Look mum I'm Vanessa mae!!"

[Rubbish music on: Sundown - S Club 8 ]

Mistletoe & Poppers

Christmas time, don't stop sucking my bell-end.

[Rubbish TV on: Family Affairs - Channel 5 ]

Get In Line Now!!



End concealing, try revealing, open your arse... Rubbish Gays & Associates went to see the Human League last night. .We spotted other gays there, and bought some gay merchandise in this case a 'mousemat'. You will be pleased to know that Phil (talking) was in fine voice, as were the girls. Much as I love them though, Susan has no sense of rhythm, and looking at Joanne's tutu (see above) she appears to have no sense of style. Long may they reign!! Don't don't you wank me...

[Rubbish music on: Love Action - Human League ]

The Shame!!



My Two Dads, hilarious 80's US sitcom, in which a dead slut leaves her daughter to 2 men who she had sex with years ago. However some lucky kids have two gay dads, and what better way of showing how much you hate them by wearing this t-shirt. Kids are smart, we've seen Uncle Buck, so listen up S Club-ers. Be sure to wear this t-shirt ALL THE TIME for maximum embarrassment of both papas.

[Rubbish music on: This Groove - Victoria Beckham ]

Top/Bot Of The Class!!



-How does your arse work?
-What can you do to help stop that 'gagging' sensation?
-What does he want to do with that?

If you have ever asked yourselves these questions (and are a gay), then this course is for you. Warning though, if you already attended the 'Arse Class' you won't get priority.

[Rubbish TV on: Pepys -BBC 1 ]

Readers Lives



From: A Gay
Date: 14 December 2003 14:19
To: rubbishgays@lycos.co.uk
Subject: How The Mighty Have Fallen

Dear Rubbish Gays,
This gay found himself hankering after
some old skool Kitten magic, and finding this CD Single cover on google (see
attachment atomic1)

Compare this fresh-faced bunch of pop beauties with the wizened pop crows on
atomic2. As discussed, the cover art is reminiscent of Microsoft Word, while
the girls themselves appear to have had a night in a Barbie beauty parlour
whilst off their cake on drugs.

I fear the dumper beckons... Or at the very least the chicken-in-a-basket
circuit.... Poor cows.

Nick x

Indeed, what on earth has happened to the Kits/Kats?? Ladies Night? More Like Girls World. Makeup by Aunt Sally, hair by Ricardo. Being a gay, and consequently a bit rubbish Mr A Gay (Nick) has made one glaring error. Just as Bananarama have tried to cover up Jacquie O'Sullivan, A. Kitten have erased all traces of Kerry 'Attentionseeking' Katona. For evidence we also turned to Google, see Exhibit Blee below. What's that?? They weren't always blonde??



In conclusion, Love Doesn't Have To Hurt, but neither does shoving this unwanted trio in a sack and chucking it in t'canal.

[Rubbish TV on: Blue Peter - BBC 1 ]