Any Hole's A Goal



Stolen from Heat magazine, thanks Mark Frith (wannagay). Look its bumming!! The Footballer and the Rentboy, our favorite film. Always nice to see, but according to the article above you won't. Call us cynical but did they think backdoor action was ever going to be shown on ITV? Titilation? Bring it on!!



Meanwhile the proper Coronation Street Gay Kiss is nearly upon us. Don't they look fit. All I ask is a late night special Hollyoaks style for a bit of back door action.

[Rubbish TV on: Footballers Wive$ - ITV 1 ]

There's Something About Conservatism



"Hi, at first glance you will see I'm a skinhead. Look again, I am wearing a suit. I'm a gay, and I'm a Tory. What the fuck?? I know, it's wrong and I can't help myself. Do me a favour, if you see me out crusing, drinking, dancing like a cunt, please ignore me. Just as I will ignore you if me and my party ever get into power again."

[Rubbish TV on: Relic Hunter - Sky One ]

Wonder Words

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Dear Last Nights Trade,

���you deranged psycho drug fucked nutcase, my nipples are so fucking sore. If I see you again I am kicking your ass!!

Stevo

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[Rubbish music on: Love Me For Little While - Janet Jackson ]

Seventh Chevron Spunked And Encoded



The most rubbish of gays cannot fail to be hooked on sci-fi. Rubbish Gays was hooked on the Next Generation and Babylon 5. One that we tried to avoid was Stargate:SG 1. However we have becone satelite bitches and dispensed with five channel hell. Apart from the brilliant Relic Hunter, we have got right into Stargate. The team is a bit like the Village People, except they all wear the same uniform, and don't sing, an um don't appear to be fags. Anyway there is a trio of hot spunks to suit all ages. See them pictured above. We have a twink-ish with a great jaw, Johnas Quinn, we think hes versitile. Next up is the veteran, Jack O'Neil, he's older,rugged, definatly active, bet he knows all the tricks. Finally Daniel Jackson, fit, intellegent, floppy hair, undoubtably passive. The internet being as foul as it is has given life to gay sex with tv characters. Here is an example of some Stargaterotica:-

Daniel struggled frantically against the restraint, bucking up against the man squatting on his legs, and pinning him to the floor. The abused fabric of his shirt finally yielded to the determined assault; the noisy, organic sound of rending material mingling with Jack's low, evil grunt of satisfaction. He yanked the sundered remnants halfway down Daniel's arms but didn't entirely remove them. While what was left of the shirt no longer proved to be an impediment to his further intentions it definitely restricted Daniel's efforts to resist them.

I would like some Johnas 3-way action, but as he's a new character I will wait.

[Rubbish TV on: The Simpsons - BBC 2 ]

An Open Letter to Cruz 101, Manchester



You may substitute the name for one of your own local cock-spots.

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Dear Sir's,

???I have just had a great night in your venue but just a few things have been getting on my nerves.

???How the fuck are you supposed to speak to the DJ when the DJ box is behind the bar. I quite clearly asked for Betty Boo several times, I don't want to have to rely on bar staff to be my go between.

???Carpets, lads they stink, lets be honest they need ripping up & burning.

???Toilets. It wouldn't fucking kill you to put a new (working) lock on each cubicle would it? Toilet seats?? Where the fuck are they?? I went in the women's toilet and some poor fag hag had put layers of toilet paper round and around x 10, by the time I got there the toilet tissue was all damp. It all looked like some kind of dirty wilted lily. I mean how much does a toilet seat cost for christ sake, we are no peasants.. As for the downstairs loos, well, the gents has one cubicle blocked permanently, and the ladies have light fittings coming out of the wall.


???The dancefloor downstairs is warped. Several times I put it down to drugs, but no it's up & down. Get someone in to look at it.

???Really it's just general good housekeeping. Stop cutting corners and sort it out.

???It's a fucking disgrace.

???I thank you

Stevo

PS See you next Monday!!!

[Rubbish music on: Love Me For A Little While - Janet Jackson ]

Dr Who ('s cock is this?)



ATTENTION EARTHLINGS: A gaylien invasion has begun. The man who wrote the telling line "I'm doing it, I'm really doing it" and many others in Queer As Folk, is writing Dr Who. Don't hold your breath though 'cos Bob & Margaret was shite.
Everyone knows that Tom Baker was the best Doctor yet he's not exactly fit. Enter the new Dr Christopher Eccleston, gentlemen start your engines!!! He's a Salford lad, he's tall, and has a big nose IE we think he has a big cock. Lets play master and servant!!

[Rubbish TV on: The Simpsons - Sky One ]

Two Wank Fuck, Wanks With Everything



Where do we start with this abortion bucket of a film?? How on earth this donkey piss-flap of a film can EVER be compared to the classic Pricilla : Queen of the desert?? For a start Patrick Swayze is a loooong way from Dirty Dancing his way back in to movies based on this performance. Piss poor, Terance Stamp shits all over you Swayze from a great height. Kneel before Zod!!

Wesley Snipes, oh dear, the most unconvincing drag queen I've seen since Christine Hamilton. As for the other one, who cares??

Why are these drag queens in drag all the time? After 2 years on the 0898 TV line, I know this is not drag but in fact transvestism. Talk about Hollywood dumbing down. It seems OK for them to be drag queens but not gay men. Talk about 'In & Out' (but not in a good way).

If you are a gay and enjoyed this film please let me know, click here, explain yourself.

[Rubbish TV on: To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything - Sky One ]