An Open Letter to Cruz 101, Manchester



You may substitute the name for one of your own local cock-spots.

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Dear Sir's,

???I have just had a great night in your venue but just a few things have been getting on my nerves.

???How the fuck are you supposed to speak to the DJ when the DJ box is behind the bar. I quite clearly asked for Betty Boo several times, I don't want to have to rely on bar staff to be my go between.

???Carpets, lads they stink, lets be honest they need ripping up & burning.

???Toilets. It wouldn't fucking kill you to put a new (working) lock on each cubicle would it? Toilet seats?? Where the fuck are they?? I went in the women's toilet and some poor fag hag had put layers of toilet paper round and around x 10, by the time I got there the toilet tissue was all damp. It all looked like some kind of dirty wilted lily. I mean how much does a toilet seat cost for christ sake, we are no peasants.. As for the downstairs loos, well, the gents has one cubicle blocked permanently, and the ladies have light fittings coming out of the wall.


???The dancefloor downstairs is warped. Several times I put it down to drugs, but no it's up & down. Get someone in to look at it.

???Really it's just general good housekeeping. Stop cutting corners and sort it out.

???It's a fucking disgrace.

???I thank you

Stevo

PS See you next Monday!!!

[Rubbish music on: Love Me For A Little While - Janet Jackson ]

Dr Who ('s cock is this?)



ATTENTION EARTHLINGS: A gaylien invasion has begun. The man who wrote the telling line "I'm doing it, I'm really doing it" and many others in Queer As Folk, is writing Dr Who. Don't hold your breath though 'cos Bob & Margaret was shite.
Everyone knows that Tom Baker was the best Doctor yet he's not exactly fit. Enter the new Dr Christopher Eccleston, gentlemen start your engines!!! He's a Salford lad, he's tall, and has a big nose IE we think he has a big cock. Lets play master and servant!!

[Rubbish TV on: The Simpsons - Sky One ]

Two Wank Fuck, Wanks With Everything



Where do we start with this abortion bucket of a film?? How on earth this donkey piss-flap of a film can EVER be compared to the classic Pricilla : Queen of the desert?? For a start Patrick Swayze is a loooong way from Dirty Dancing his way back in to movies based on this performance. Piss poor, Terance Stamp shits all over you Swayze from a great height. Kneel before Zod!!

Wesley Snipes, oh dear, the most unconvincing drag queen I've seen since Christine Hamilton. As for the other one, who cares??

Why are these drag queens in drag all the time? After 2 years on the 0898 TV line, I know this is not drag but in fact transvestism. Talk about Hollywood dumbing down. It seems OK for them to be drag queens but not gay men. Talk about 'In & Out' (but not in a good way).

If you are a gay and enjoyed this film please let me know, click here, explain yourself.

[Rubbish TV on: To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything - Sky One ]

Hot Off The Press

Having just witnessed an advert for new Domestos 'Pink Power'. We did a Google. Hot news in from the Grocer Today!! Drag queens have never had so much work.

[Rubbish TV on: Liquid News - BBC Three ]

Careless Whisper

[Rubbish TV on: Footballers Wive$ - ITV 1 ]

Like No Other



The album of the year is here!! Yes we harnessed the power of the internet to do our first online purchase. It arrived today!! Dear George you do look a bit like David Brent in your new video, but you are still one of us and are still making good music. Talk about bow down mister!! Absolutely flawless, fun and sunshine, there's enough for everyone. George you are THE fantastic gay

However we notice this is a couch album. The last time we did a couch album we took a sip from the devils cup (just a sip). Observe how the 90's were a very different time if not a different corner.

[Rubbish music on: Precious Box - George Michael ]

You Broke My Heart In 17 Places



As the world knows Chris Lowe is the best looking scally rent boy trade that has ever stood behind a keyboard. Brilliant new video for Flamboyant has just cum through our box, but hold on, whats this?? Chris has grown his hair??? Argh. No way, can't maintain hard-on, going limp, man down!!!!!

[Rubbish music on: Annie Lennox - Walking on broken glass ]