Dr Who ('s cock is this?)



ATTENTION EARTHLINGS: A gaylien invasion has begun. The man who wrote the telling line "I'm doing it, I'm really doing it" and many others in Queer As Folk, is writing Dr Who. Don't hold your breath though 'cos Bob & Margaret was shite.
Everyone knows that Tom Baker was the best Doctor yet he's not exactly fit. Enter the new Dr Christopher Eccleston, gentlemen start your engines!!! He's a Salford lad, he's tall, and has a big nose IE we think he has a big cock. Lets play master and servant!!

[Rubbish TV on: The Simpsons - Sky One ]

Two Wank Fuck, Wanks With Everything



Where do we start with this abortion bucket of a film?? How on earth this donkey piss-flap of a film can EVER be compared to the classic Pricilla : Queen of the desert?? For a start Patrick Swayze is a loooong way from Dirty Dancing his way back in to movies based on this performance. Piss poor, Terance Stamp shits all over you Swayze from a great height. Kneel before Zod!!

Wesley Snipes, oh dear, the most unconvincing drag queen I've seen since Christine Hamilton. As for the other one, who cares??

Why are these drag queens in drag all the time? After 2 years on the 0898 TV line, I know this is not drag but in fact transvestism. Talk about Hollywood dumbing down. It seems OK for them to be drag queens but not gay men. Talk about 'In & Out' (but not in a good way).

If you are a gay and enjoyed this film please let me know, click here, explain yourself.

[Rubbish TV on: To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything - Sky One ]

Hot Off The Press

Having just witnessed an advert for new Domestos 'Pink Power'. We did a Google. Hot news in from the Grocer Today!! Drag queens have never had so much work.

[Rubbish TV on: Liquid News - BBC Three ]

Careless Whisper

[Rubbish TV on: Footballers Wive$ - ITV 1 ]

Like No Other



The album of the year is here!! Yes we harnessed the power of the internet to do our first online purchase. It arrived today!! Dear George you do look a bit like David Brent in your new video, but you are still one of us and are still making good music. Talk about bow down mister!! Absolutely flawless, fun and sunshine, there's enough for everyone. George you are THE fantastic gay

However we notice this is a couch album. The last time we did a couch album we took a sip from the devils cup (just a sip). Observe how the 90's were a very different time if not a different corner.

[Rubbish music on: Precious Box - George Michael ]

You Broke My Heart In 17 Places



As the world knows Chris Lowe is the best looking scally rent boy trade that has ever stood behind a keyboard. Brilliant new video for Flamboyant has just cum through our box, but hold on, whats this?? Chris has grown his hair??? Argh. No way, can't maintain hard-on, going limp, man down!!!!!

[Rubbish music on: Annie Lennox - Walking on broken glass ]

I Closed My Eyes (I Closed My Eyes), Drew Back The Foreskin...arrr ah


Honeytom has done me a favour. Look at these pictures above you, blot out the face first, it helps. OK mmmm not bad. Now remove thumb. Urgh!! Yes its 'H' from Steps appearing in 'a twit and his technicoloured cunt'. See now this is a lesson for all wanna be gym queens, you can so have the perfect body, but if the face is that of Fu-Manchu's Poop Chute it's not going to make one bit of difference.

Ian 'H' Watkins you stand accused of being a Rubbish Gay of the highest order. How do you plea??

H: Innocent

Damned lies. You had a crap haircut for years and it just got drapper. In your time with Rebel Faction known as S.T.E.P.S. you made nervous queens sniff too much poppers on provincial dancefloors up and down the country. Your outfits were poor consisting mainly of shiny top & shorts set. You are useless at singing, that Claire is well rid of you. She's one hag who doesn't need a fag. Now you attempt to follow in the footsteps of Jason Donavan (or J.Do), Phillip Schofield & Donny Osmond. 'I Look handsome I look smart I look like a total twat'.

H:All true I change my plee..

Too late!! Off with his head. Take him down!!

Postscript: With a bag on his head we would do him, but still be concerned about colour of pubic hair.

[Rubbish TV on: The Wicker Man - Channel 4 ]