Having just witnessed an advert for new Domestos 'Pink Power'. We did a Google. Hot news in from the Grocer Today!! Drag queens have never had so much work.
[Rubbish TV on: Liquid News - BBC Three ]
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Like No Other
The album of the year is here!! Yes we harnessed the power of the internet to do our first online purchase. It arrived today!! Dear George you do look a bit like David Brent in your new video, but you are still one of us and are still making good music. Talk about bow down mister!! Absolutely flawless, fun and sunshine, there's enough for everyone. George you are THE fantastic gay
However we notice this is a couch album. The last time we did a couch album we took a sip from the devils cup (just a sip). Observe how the 90's were a very different time if not a different corner.
The album of the year is here!! Yes we harnessed the power of the internet to do our first online purchase. It arrived today!! Dear George you do look a bit like David Brent in your new video, but you are still one of us and are still making good music. Talk about bow down mister!! Absolutely flawless, fun and sunshine, there's enough for everyone. George you are THE fantastic gay
However we notice this is a couch album. The last time we did a couch album we took a sip from the devils cup (just a sip). Observe how the 90's were a very different time if not a different corner.
[Rubbish music on: Precious Box - George Michael ]
Monday, March 15, 2004
You Broke My Heart In 17 Places
As the world knows Chris Lowe is the best looking scally rent boy trade that has ever stood behind a keyboard. Brilliant new video for Flamboyant has just cum through our box, but hold on, whats this?? Chris has grown his hair??? Argh. No way, can't maintain hard-on, going limp, man down!!!!!
As the world knows Chris Lowe is the best looking scally rent boy trade that has ever stood behind a keyboard. Brilliant new video for Flamboyant has just cum through our box, but hold on, whats this?? Chris has grown his hair??? Argh. No way, can't maintain hard-on, going limp, man down!!!!!
[Rubbish music on: Annie Lennox - Walking on broken glass ]
I Closed My Eyes (I Closed My Eyes), Drew Back The Foreskin...arrr ah
Honeytom has done me a favour. Look at these pictures above you, blot out the face first, it helps. OK mmmm not bad. Now remove thumb. Urgh!! Yes its 'H' from Steps appearing in 'a twit and his technicoloured cunt'. See now this is a lesson for all wanna be gym queens, you can so have the perfect body, but if the face is that of Fu-Manchu's Poop Chute it's not going to make one bit of difference.
Ian 'H' Watkins you stand accused of being a Rubbish Gay of the highest order. How do you plea??
H: Innocent
Damned lies. You had a crap haircut for years and it just got drapper. In your time with Rebel Faction known as S.T.E.P.S. you made nervous queens sniff too much poppers on provincial dancefloors up and down the country. Your outfits were poor consisting mainly of shiny top & shorts set. You are useless at singing, that Claire is well rid of you. She's one hag who doesn't need a fag. Now you attempt to follow in the footsteps of Jason Donavan (or J.Do), Phillip Schofield & Donny Osmond. 'I Look handsome I look smart I look like a total twat'.
H:All true I change my plee..
Too late!! Off with his head. Take him down!!
Postscript: With a bag on his head we would do him, but still be concerned about colour of pubic hair.
Honeytom has done me a favour. Look at these pictures above you, blot out the face first, it helps. OK mmmm not bad. Now remove thumb. Urgh!! Yes its 'H' from Steps appearing in 'a twit and his technicoloured cunt'. See now this is a lesson for all wanna be gym queens, you can so have the perfect body, but if the face is that of Fu-Manchu's Poop Chute it's not going to make one bit of difference.
Ian 'H' Watkins you stand accused of being a Rubbish Gay of the highest order. How do you plea??
H: Innocent
Damned lies. You had a crap haircut for years and it just got drapper. In your time with Rebel Faction known as S.T.E.P.S. you made nervous queens sniff too much poppers on provincial dancefloors up and down the country. Your outfits were poor consisting mainly of shiny top & shorts set. You are useless at singing, that Claire is well rid of you. She's one hag who doesn't need a fag. Now you attempt to follow in the footsteps of Jason Donavan (or J.Do), Phillip Schofield & Donny Osmond. 'I Look handsome I look smart I look like a total twat'.
H:All true I change my plee..
Too late!! Off with his head. Take him down!!
Postscript: With a bag on his head we would do him, but still be concerned about colour of pubic hair.
[Rubbish TV on: The Wicker Man - Channel 4 ]
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Texting On The Dancefloor
A disturbing new trend has come to Rubbish Gays attention. Whilst undercover in one of Manchester's finest fag discos, we observed on several occasions rubbish gays in the middle of the dancefloor 'texting'. What?? Surely todays dance drugs aren't that weak, are they?? Even worse, one of our associates was texting a freind in the same (empty) club to find out where they were. In short like Celine, think twice, do you really need to text your fag hag? If you do, please move to dark corner as when gays are in 'the zone' this can really twist their melons.
Textacy aside, girl DJ's are crap. This one didn't even have the Boogie Pimps.
A disturbing new trend has come to Rubbish Gays attention. Whilst undercover in one of Manchester's finest fag discos, we observed on several occasions rubbish gays in the middle of the dancefloor 'texting'. What?? Surely todays dance drugs aren't that weak, are they?? Even worse, one of our associates was texting a freind in the same (empty) club to find out where they were. In short like Celine, think twice, do you really need to text your fag hag? If you do, please move to dark corner as when gays are in 'the zone' this can really twist their melons.
Textacy aside, girl DJ's are crap. This one didn't even have the Boogie Pimps.
[Rubbish TV on: Veritas : The Quest - Sci-fi Channel ]
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Wannagays
When is a gay not a gay? In this new digital age of the image & the icon it can be difficult to tell. Walk down any high street in Britain and you'll see many of these 'look gay but aren't'. If rubbish gays were younger we would fear this rise of the homo-copyus, but as we get older we have learned to look and leer. That's right straight lads, we ARE perving on you!!
The most prominent of these are Ant & Dec. Seeing Ant dressed as Kylie in the advert for the new Saturday Night Takeaway show stirred something down below in us. With that in mind here are a few snippits from a Smash Hits Interview.
You sound like the perfect couple. If things were different, would you be?
Dec: Would I go out with Ant if he was a girl? No way. He's got a hairy arse! (don't be shy)
Ant: I wouldn't have it if I was a woman would I? (touch my bum)
Dec: Oh aye. (this is life)
Ant: I wouldn't go out with Dec 'cos I know him too well. We know each other inside out, they'd be no.. mystery.
Name your showbiz chums?
Dec: Sean Maguire, Sonia.(fag-hag)
Ant: Andi Peters. (Fag)
Dec: Neil (fag!)and Chris (fit as fuck fag!) from the Pet Shop Boys.
Ant: Robbie Williams.(suspect has been faggy with Mark Owen at least once!) He's really nice.
Draw your own conclusion readers.
PS Other Wannagays include Niles from Fraiser, Chandler from Freinds & David Dickinson.
When is a gay not a gay? In this new digital age of the image & the icon it can be difficult to tell. Walk down any high street in Britain and you'll see many of these 'look gay but aren't'. If rubbish gays were younger we would fear this rise of the homo-copyus, but as we get older we have learned to look and leer. That's right straight lads, we ARE perving on you!!
The most prominent of these are Ant & Dec. Seeing Ant dressed as Kylie in the advert for the new Saturday Night Takeaway show stirred something down below in us. With that in mind here are a few snippits from a Smash Hits Interview.
You sound like the perfect couple. If things were different, would you be?
Dec: Would I go out with Ant if he was a girl? No way. He's got a hairy arse! (don't be shy)
Ant: I wouldn't have it if I was a woman would I? (touch my bum)
Dec: Oh aye. (this is life)
Ant: I wouldn't go out with Dec 'cos I know him too well. We know each other inside out, they'd be no.. mystery.
Name your showbiz chums?
Dec: Sean Maguire, Sonia.(fag-hag)
Ant: Andi Peters. (Fag)
Dec: Neil (fag!)and Chris (fit as fuck fag!) from the Pet Shop Boys.
Ant: Robbie Williams.(suspect has been faggy with Mark Owen at least once!) He's really nice.
Draw your own conclusion readers.
PS Other Wannagays include Niles from Fraiser, Chandler from Freinds & David Dickinson.
[Rubbish music on: Amazing (Full Intention Club Mix) - George Michael ]
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