Gay is the new black, but rubbish is the new brown.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
An Apple A Day Puts A Donk On Us Gays Or Ben Fogle's Extreme (Wet) Dreams
Posh totty. We secretly love it. These are two of our favorites Alistair Appleton & Ben Fogle. Unless you are unemployed, or ill you may not have seen Alistair before he inhabits daytime TV primarily Cash In The Attic & House Doctor. He's tall, hes attractive, and fuck us if he isn't a Buddhist darling. Alistair's rival is the media whore Ben Fogle, started on Castaway now he's all over the place Animal Park, Extreme Dreams, even stepping on Alistair's toes Spunking In The Attic. Both are tall, both are posh, but as you might suspect we already have a favorite.
Alistair, stare, staaaaaare. We can't help looking at him he's so dreamy. It must have hurt when he fell from heaven. So this article is biased we don't care. We only looked for pictures of Ben but Alistair we dug a little deeper. We can confirm he IS a homosexual, but he is the kind of clean living homo that makes us feel more disgusted with the way we live our day to day degraded life. As previously mentioned he's a Buddhist, but get this, he teaches classes at some hippy thing.
'Alistair’s lively and non-dogmatic workshops seem to appeal to a very broad audience not usually attracted to spiritual practice and his easy manner brings the techniques of meditation alive for a practitioner living in the modern world.'
After reading this all we came away with is he might like it doggy style, he's easy and he probably likes Sheena Easton. Not that we would attend his classes, there would probably be homework involving not taking drugs, not having sex or not watching Family Guy, but we love the fact that the option is always there for us to get one on one with the Apple.
In conclusion we would fuck both of them, but when we were fucking Ben we would be imagining it were Alistair.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Uh oh She's Got A Storyline Again....
They say that the best gays have no gag reflex, which accounts for our ability to do excellent deepthroat. This is true on the whole, except when it comes to Anthony Cotton. Gag-reflex or not he is enough to make even the most macho macho man puke in their handbag.
Yes one of our favorite rubbish gayers has been given a storyline on Coronation Street!! For the Helen Keller types out there we have highlighted the most unlikeliest aspect of this whole charade. There's going to be a Mr Gay Weatherfield? What the fuck? Are the writers on LSD? This is how Sean is supposed to meet the new love of his life? We apologise for all the question marks but what the fuck? Let's think.... Mr Gay Weatherfield, it's a bit like Mr Gay Salford, ain't gonna happen. We assume either Sean enters the competition or goes out with the winner of the competition. FYI Point 1, there are NO gays in Weatherfield. Point 2, Sean Tully is a reet hound, by which we mean ugly. Pointer Sisters aside this looks like the most barf making storyline since Deidre slept with Dev.
On a positive note. There maybe some local hunks on, and we all like to see big gays in our soaps. We are only hoping Blanche gets a big part in this upcoming travesty. We feel Blanche Hunt always brings a sense of realism to the table. Hold on, Anthony Cotton is on Twitter? We bet that is a laugh a minute. We will sign up for updates. This looks as if it could be pure gold!