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Rubbish Gays

Gay is the new black, but rubbish is the new brown.

Sunday, August 31, 2003

Junk Mail

What a good idea. Here she is randi_michelle:

Humiliate me? Consider it done.What a glamour puss!!

[Rubbish TV on: Snorting coke with the BBC - Channel 4 ]

Words from the canal...

"She's got something stuck up her twenty-four seven!!!!!!"

[Rubbish stuff straight girls were shouting at each other on: Saturday Night 23:47, Canal Street, Manchester ]

Friday, August 29, 2003

Trilogy of terror!!
Protects against random bumming!!Automatic naffness!!Don't ask, don't tell

Europride has come and gone. The barriers are down, hence this warning. Beware the 'Hen party', yes the girls WILL be back. Since Manchesters famous Canal Street was brought to public attention the straight girls want in on the action. Watch out for this slow moving drunken pack, the 'bride-to-be' is easiest to spot, she will be wearing humorous 'L' plates. I saw one a few weeks ago wearing a hat made out of balloons that looked like a cock. A twatty cock.
Do NOT approach, dance or stand near these women unless you want to hear "I love the village me", "I love gay men me", "I am a sad old fishwife me", etc. Instead laugh as they are refused entry to the clubs, smirk as one gets wobbly trying to navigate cobbles in high-heels and finally sneer as one of them throws up in the canal.

[Rubbish music on: What Is The Problem? - Graffiti ]

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Catch A Star...

Stolen from!!

Swiped without shame from the mighty Popjustice.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

As if by magic...

From the mighty Popjustice to Low Culture, to here in only 3 degrees of masterbation.

Flags savages the innocent!!

The not-rubbish wilk, sent me this message he got this evening from putoutmoreflags

How rude!! See it's not just me he dislikes.

Just when you thought it was safe...

Flag attack!! The Revenge!! This time putoutmoreflags has the horn.

[Tue Aug 26 19:59:35 GMT 2003] putoutmoreflags:

putoutmoreflags> anyone for a 3sum with me and
putoutmoreflags> but we want to try double fucking a lad
putoutmoreflags> so, you need to think about 2 knobs up you
looknofurther> dirty fuckers
> shame on you flags
forest_swuk> why shame
putoutmoreflags> fuck off you sily wankers..mind your own business
forest_swuk> it's nice that they r being blunt best way to be
> mind your own buisness?
ian_> each to their own
forest_swuk> true ian
forest_swuk> hand bagz at ten paces
> evenin lads btw
putoutmoreflags> and@game_on..I BLOCKED you months ago..just
fucking well get on with your life and leave me to get on with sad bastard
> well stop paying attention to me then
putoutmoreflags> I never adress you..and I expect the same courtesy
from you
ian_> evenin' game
> evenin
> look flags I love you, but I cant do double-anal
......ace......> back to the drawing board then putout
putoutmoreflags> you obviously can't deal with the fact that I blocked
you for being a silly, stupid racist little fucker..but, do try...I'm not going
to respond anymore to your chat..I BLOCKED YOU..TAKE A
looknofurther> did you have a top wekend ?
> doh I am not racist, are you thick or what??

At this point he actually did stop speaking to me. Funny that.

Dear Tripod Member,

In order to guarantee a high-quality service on Tripod, we had to close
your website as it was found

Both HTTP and FTP access have been closed.

Lycos Tripod Team

Monday, August 25, 2003

Take a little more time

Being gay can be exciting, younger gay types get very dizzy with spelling.
28 days later? Tomb Raider? If the above are genuine titles please let me know, Tom Raider sounds fun.

Its a cheeky holiday!!
Big bummers!!
Rubbish of the future, no, rubbish of the past. If anyone knows anything about these 'men' please contact me straight away!! They have escaped justice for too long. Its clobberin' time!!!

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Great Name:Poor Cover

Paint the town with spunk!!

So THAT'S how it is in their family

Above it says If something is rubbish click here tell me!!, and thats just what Sam did. Just when you think you have seen everything there appears family_fun. Thank you Sam, mine eyes have seen the gory.

The Profile is titled Incest is Best! (23 years old), already alarm bells are ringing. Here we go:

About Me
I`m a guy who loves the idea of having fun in the family... brothers playing
together etc. Wouldn`t do anything - that would be illegal ;) - but I love
the idea!

What I'm looking for
I`m looking to chat to/meet other people who like the idea of keeping it in
the family!

Between the ages of 18 and 99

Sam comments 'Can you imagine it, playing with your 99 year old brother. Lovely!' I'm not sure if I shoud blame Brookside or Flowers in the Attic.

Friday, August 22, 2003

This is Phil talking...

..and I can put you back there too!!

He wants to tell you what he found to be true.

Something even Cher would have difficulty believing

Follow the bear!!
This is a genuine gaydar profile picture, I kid you not. While browsing the new members I can across this gem. The devil has a name and it be Furrie:

What I'm looking for

guys from the uk into fursuit action, mascots, cartoon characters, get intouch, and genuine guyz only please

Spunk-a-Lot bear, My Little Boner, Teddy Fuckspin, the list goes on...

Thursday, August 21, 2003

In a book shop near you

Heaven help us!!
I'm not sure if this book is purest evil but it hurts my eyes to see the cover. Meanwhile in Los Angeles (LA), this gay wedding thing is a big deal. A gay wedding expo
!! As the PSB's said 'It couldn't happen here', or could it? Imagine G-mex full of wet blanket gays & lesbian ministers touting for buisness....


[Rubbish TV on : Masters & Servants - Channel 4 ]

What not to wear

Europride Tips!! By all means go to Topman, but avoid these items. Lady Print Vest. 'Vest top with lady print' . This is so rubbish it's not even gay. Topman like a poor mans Trinny & Susannah, say 'wear with' the above bleach patch pocket flare. I say 'avoid' then I say 'get my gun!!.

Welcome to Manchester

As a local I am maybe not as excited as I should be. Yes Europride is here, Mardi Gra, Manfest, Village Charity Weekend, as it was formerly known. I went into the city today, but didn't even have a shave, how rubbish. Many of the new gay arrivals were putting me to shame. However with the uniform these gays are very easy to spot:

1-'Salon' cut hair (Like Limahl)

2-'Healthy' tan (Again, like Limahl)

3-Small rucksack

4-Dressed for a Saturday night but on a Thursday afternoon

Maybe tommorrow I will make the effort, wear my gayest top and head to Piccadilly station. "Welcome gays!!".

PS The Europride theme this year is fruit. I imagine there will be an over use of bananas in Saturdays parade, gums around plumbs, etc.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

From: Tanya

Date: 20 August 2003 10:14

To: game.on1

Subject: Does the size of your penis really matter? Of course it does!

Good day dear (name), everybody wants to have great sex, and now you can with IGF (Intimate
Growth Formula) and VRX-Viagra Alternative. Enjoy the benefits of our
revolutionary formula just for men, guaranteed to add length and girth to
your penis! Maintain fuller, rock hard erections for longer than you thought
possible. No prescription needed, discreet two-day delivery, no
embarrassment, just results you can see.


Well good day to you too Tanya!!

Trilogy of boners

This site with all these great looking men MUST be gay. Evidence for it's gayness is pictured above.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Jonty Has A Love Rival

Purple Hayes

Poor ginger Jonty has been ousted from Cash in the Attic and replaced with Spandau Ballet type Paul Hayes. I feel Paul and Alistair are much better suited. Paul is never afraid to touch Alistair, I like that.

[Rubbish TV on: Diagnosis Murder - BBC1 ]

Interview Game

The Rules
1. Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3. You'll update your website with my five questions, and your five answers.
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

Here are my questions from the gay Zbornak

1. Who is the rubbishist celebrity gay? Why?

Are you ready for love?
David Furnish of course. He always has the same strange fixed grin on his face.

2. C&C Music factory and Freedom Williams sung about things that made people go “hmmmm”, what makes you go “hmmmm”?

So-called straight-acting gay lads. Tank tops, 3/4 length pants & those trainer slippers.

3. What is the rubbishist gay moment?

Dale's Wedding, followed by Brian & Josh's forced 'romantic' dinner on Big Brother 2.

4. Betty Boo wants to fix you up on a blind date! What qualities do you hope he possesses?

A large wallet/packet, a drug habit & hardwood floors. Maybe she knows Jason Donovan?

5. Have you yourself been guilty of being a rubbish gay at one point? If so, how?

I am by my very nature rubbish, I was worse when 18. After a REALLY rubbish one-night stand I stole his aftershave & a Lily Savage video before I left his flat.

If you are well up for 5 questions, gay, straight, bi or bender mail me!!

Monday, August 18, 2003

A Trilogy of Shite

Cinderella PooLittle Mermaid PooHunchback Poo

Why do Disney have to spoil everything. I was right there with them up until Aladdin, but no further. They squeeze every last drop out of anything good. I mean Cinderella 2 for fucks sake, she was supposed to live happily ever after, whoops maybe not. Straight-to-video with them all!! Don't even get me started on The Jungle Book Poo... Everyone knows the only sequel that was any good was The Rescuers Down Under. Why bother?

A readers E-mail

My first negative corespondent

From the moment i visited this website to the moment i left it i was
convulsed with laughter.

Someday i intend to read it.
(I sense if Rubbish Gays isn't read it won't work properly)

Seriously - this is one of the saddest sites i've ever had the misfortune to
visit. Where to begin?

The inaccurate and misplaced references?
The peurile and offensive (not just to the intellect) 'jokes'?
The lack of respect for people's feelings and privacy?
The gay stereotyping

It's 2003 Steve MOVE ON.

Movin' on was for Bananarama, and most recently Steps. It didn't work for them, and doesn't for me. Thank you for your comments, and by the way it's spelt 'puerile'.

Love on a mountaintop!!

In between I assume drinking love from a fountain, and going out with her toyboy, Sinitta has found time to link to me. Well done girl, or rather thanks Lowculture. It's better than Rubbish Gays, but not as good as Popjustice, we all know our place.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

holly johnsonThis man is Saint Holly Scouser-Johnson. I have been downloading some old Frankie Goes To Hollywood stuff, and it still sounds proper good. Two Tribes with all the air attack warnings, whoah thats still some shit. Holly is still very much working, hes an artist now, but aren't we all. His website is pretty good though. Even some mp3 to download. However for full Frankie at its perv best FGTH: The Warriors return is fucking ace, loads of clips. It's so fucking well designed. Makes Rubbish Gays look, well rubbish.

Holly Johnston I salute you!! (Now I hide myself as commanded!)

[Rubbish music on: Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Two Tribes (Extended Mix) -9:06]

Saturday, August 16, 2003

My work is never done

Just when I thought it was safe to open Gaydar Assistant.... Yes ANOTHER flag attack. Remember Alan, we met him in the post below, seems he some unfinished buisness with me.

gaydar fuckwit

I love how he thinks I fancy him.

Flag attack!!

After yet another chatroom outburst I have now to introduce you to this man, he may smell of gin but his names Alan. This is what Alan had to say:

putoutmoreflags> there seems to be a phalanx of regulars who think
nothing of spending the whole day on here spouting crap..I left home
at's now 12.00pm just gone..and the same people....are still
here...the conversation doesn't seem to have changed....I now fully
expect comments like "fuck off" or "get a life"...etc...these will be
treated with the respect they deserve :-)

Guess what flags? Fuck off and get a life.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Vile things chatting

Introduction to Bigram. Desperate and from Yorkshire. What follows are a small selection of his best 'lines':

tonight - can accom??

bigram> any COUPLES wanna FUCK SANDWICH - you deliver??

bigram> any HUNG BLACK GUYS want a CUTE TIGHT ASS -pvt me?

bigram> any TOPS wanna CUTE TIGHT ASS to PLUNGE into -can

If you do want a fuck sandwich or to tickle him, find him in the Manchester & Yorkshire rooms. However I cannot guarantee the ass will be tight, or indeed cute.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Shocking Spelling

Meet Mancs003. Before you click I warn you there is a penis on display!! He likes 'will & crace', his favorite actress is 'julie roberts' and his favorite holiday destination is 'australier eneywere hot'. This is what he's looking for:

honniest guy for m8s or if mr rights out there that would be a pluss some one whoes easey going honniest and looking for m8s or mr right send me a message i dont byte

Its like a gay version of the Helen Keller story.

Monday, August 11, 2003

Proof that machines will never take over

Having taken a particually well designed Are you gay quiz, it appears I am straight. Not just straight but 'we are 95.70% confident with our answer' . Think again. I am in fact gay, and this test is in fact rubbish.

Defend my girlfriends!!

Rather amusing as this petition is, the tard behind it seems to be taking it seriously. This a petition it seems NOT to ban t.A.T.u., were they banned did I miss something? Anyway on with the finer points of this document:

To: Richard and Judy (yes they are going all the way to the top!)

"We, the undersigned......

celebrate the freedom, wherever it exists, of teenage girls to kiss and touch each other affectionately in public; (has this also been banned?)


applaud them for sending positive, life-enhancing messages which affirm the
legitimacy of gay youth;
(stay in school kids)


are sick and tired of paedophile hysteria, which has now surpassed itself and gone completely stark raving bonkers." (bonkers? Are you sure this is an official document?)

The only message I want from my girlfriends is how miserable it is to be Russian, and how happy they are to be (pretend) lesbians.

Saturday, August 09, 2003

Local Shop turns gay!!

I have just been to the off-licence and queued behind 3 gays, 2 of which were quite rubbish. The queenier of the two had a large spot on the back of his ear. I didn't say anything.

[Rubbish TV on: Ed TV-Channel 4 ]

Bin it!!
sin bin

I'm not sure if our non UK readers will be able to order this rubbish looking bin for their gay rubbish, (In the US they call it trash, but don't get me started). Available in abortion bucket red, and all colours (color??) of the speculum.

Is Wonder Woman gay?
Tell the truth Wonder Woman!!

'Paradise Island? Or Isle of Lesbos?.' Hmmm seems the jury is still out on this one. I prefer not to dwell, I would baulk if I thought she had pubic hair.

Side-saddle fashion

Meet Bmeer. No pictures, not much information only this gem:

'I am looking for a male companion who would like to use my pillion seat.'

[Rubbish Televison on: SM:TV-ITV1 ]

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Fake Gaydar profile??

Some disturbing news recieved via e-mail from a Rubbish Reader.


A Gaydar virgin, well I never, and never will with these soup-cans on my head.

Stop the press!! How gay is your dog?
gay dog

A rainbow dog bandana, a great idea for both you and your dog to get knocked out by a scally with a pitt-bull. I can almost hear the poor mutts cries 'kill me now...'

The gayest accesories in the world...possibly!!
rainbow straprainbow boa

You will look the Belle of the Mardi Grai in this fabric rainbow belt with metal buckle, or maybe you will look like a bell-end. However the rainbow boa really takes the biscuit. Homo-fashion is odd, but every Brian Dowliing isn't gay enough to carry off this double-bow!!

‘There is 100% no such thing as a totally passive gay guy’

How true you are!! A few home truths in this Boyz 'article'.

? Performance anxiety, hang-ups about size, condoms or technique are behind the majority of guys claiming to be ‘passive’; others are just lazy.

? Issues of masculinity, control and pain put others off taking one up the bum, and so they adopt the ‘active’ label.

? People often claim to be ‘versatile’ just to try and get more shags, but it means you're happy in both roles; not that you'll do it only if you absolutely have to.

Plenty of tips here to top a bottom and vice-versa, don't get caught out again!!

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

A readers choice find!!

Not rubbish, in fact ace. Please see weekender's profile
for how it's meant to be done. An except follows.

Send me your cock pics NOW, that`s pics of YOU, not of you fucking someone else, or getting fucked. If we`re gonna do the deed do you think I wanna see you doing it with some fucker else?

Spunk in my attic!!
alistair appleton, woof woof!!jonty

The only thing I have learned is most casual visitors are directed to the rubbish not by the smell, but are refered here by typing in 'Alistair Appleton' on Google or the like. To that end, here is Alistair and his bum-chum Jonty.

Monday, August 04, 2003

Flag attack!!
flag attack

Again Alan you miss the point of a 'public' chat-room. What makes this poor online message even more petty, is the fact that he has already blocked me. So must have un and reblocked me for this outbust. I also like the fact he tells me his name. Makes it more personal.

This person has blocked
you from sending messages to them.

Sunday, August 03, 2003

The voice of reason

Outbust on Gaydar Chat!!

shallow PRICKS in my opinion! There you are, sat on Gaydar, going to
Essential....don't you realise?!?! THERE IS MORE TO LIFE!!! Obviously
you have never been graced by Iceland, Norway or Aruba. I suggest you
take a good long look in the mirror, and think "Eauk! I'm so old! I've
wasted my life doing pointless things like clubbing!". THAT is why I have
no respect for British gay guys. Icelandic gay guys on the other hand are
mature, articulate and clever, with good futures ahead of them! In fact, I
respect all but one of the Icelandic gays (before you start ranting, Yes I
do know them all!) and I respect ONLY one British gay. Now what does
that tell you?! As for me, I'm leaving this godforesaken land in a very
short period of time, but the sad thing is, should I ever return...nothing will
have changed! In short, GET LIVES! Sorry, but someone has to say it,
not that you dolts will take ANY of that on board!

Hmmm, this coming from the self-styled 'gay Eva Peron'. Of course there is more to life than Essential, why theres Legends on Saturday and Cruz on a Monday. The big question is...have YOU ever been graced by Aruba??

Hold that channel!!
nathan tracy beaker

For the past few months as a daytime TV viewer I have woefully ignored 'The story of Tracy Beaker' on CBBC, until I saw this fit bit. The goes by the name of Nathan (gay name, but no sexual themes). If only all kids TV was this good.

Saturday, August 02, 2003

I present...The Gay League of America!!

For the second time a rubbish reader has pointed out this programme from the USA. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I read the write-up and cringe, 'They are the Fab Five: an elite team of gay men dedicated to extolling the simple virtues of style, taste and class.' What's worse is I find myself hoping this show comes to our shores soon (even though they all look ugly). However also on Bravo Tv is a kind of gay 'batchelor', Boy meets Boy (real classy name). A slightly chubby looking rubbish gay has 15 suitors, but not all of them are gay, hilarity is sure to follow. Seems gay is the new black, but rubbish is the new brown.

Friday, August 01, 2003

Leslie Still Faces Charges

'Presenter' John Leslie still faces charges over his crimes against fashion. It's thought his defence will be supported by fellow fashion user Matthew Kelly.